Jessica's Journey
by kjspirit23
Summary: Jessica had her life planned out and she was ready to face high school with her best friend. But what will happen when there's a terrible accident and Jessica has to start over at McKinley High. Will she find a new family with the Glee kids?
1. Chapter 1

Glee

Chapter 1 - Jessica

I laugh as my best friend, Lily, tells me a joke. My only friend really, but she's enough. The class quiets down as we hear the door open. A girl from the office walks in and immediately heads towards our teacher. They whisper back and forth a few times before Mr. Johnson gives me a pitiful look and says, "Jessica Smith. You're checking out, make sure to grab all your stuff."

"Okay?" I reply, sounding more like a question than a statement. My parents hadn't told me anything about leaving school early today. I whispered a quick goodbye to Lily and slung my bag over my shoulder as I left my history class. I made a quick stop to my locker to grab my jacket and skipped down the empty halls to the office.

The room smelled like vanilla as I walked in. As I breathed in the smell, everyone around me went silent. "What is it?" I asked, suspicious.

"Jessica, there's been an accident." The lady at the desk started.

"What do you mean?" I questioned as my heart started beating faster.

"Your parents were driving and a drunk driver collided with them." She breaks off as my breath hitches in my throat. "They're at the hospital. Your emergency contact, Mrs. Evans, has been contacted and is waiting to bring you there now."

"Lily Evans." I gasp, "She's in my history class, please call her down."

I'm openly sobbing now as she walks over and wraps her arm around my shoulders. Someone takes the bag that I didn't even realize I had dropped as I'm led out to the parking lot where Lily's mom's small blue car waits.

I'm shaking as I slip into the back seat. There are tears in Mrs. Evans's eyes as she looks back at me. She puts her hand on my knee and holds me tight as we wait for Lily. After what seems like an eternity I see her running out the doors and sprinting towards us. She slides in the opposite side next to me and judging by the way she's holding me, she knows what happened.

We drive in silence. I want to scream for her to drive faster but I know it won't help and I resign myself to shutting my eyes and leaning on Lily's shoulder.

My face and Lilly's shirt are soaked with tears. As I try to apologize Lily just shakes her head and tells me it's going to be okay. She holds my hand as we hurry into the hospital. I sink into one of the chairs in the waiting room as Lilly's mom talks to the doctors. All I could think about was my mom and dad. Were they going to be okay? What would happen to them? I couldn't imagine my life without them.

The doctors motion me over and I trudge towards them, almost as if in a trance. Just one look and I know there isn't good news. "Your father is suffering from a collapsed lung, several broken ribs and internal bleeding. He is currently being operated on and while we are hopeful we cannot guarantee anything." The man informed me. I couldn't help but notice that he didn't mention one important thing.

"What about my mom?" I whisper as my voice cracks.

"I'm afraid that your mother was hit head on and died almost directly after impact."

"No!" I cried out. My mom. Gone. My head was filled with all the memories of time spent with her, singing at Christmas, making cookies and just talking. I would never see her again.

"I am sorry Ms. Smith. We will let you know as soon as you can see your father." With this the doctor turned away and headed back to wherever he was supposed to be.

I could distantly feel Lily pulling me back down onto one of the chairs but I was numb. All I could think over and over again was that my mother was dead and for all I knew my dad would join her.

I was shaken out of my thoughts as Mrs. Evans approached me. "Jess, honey, I'm sorry but is there any family nearby that I can contact?"

I shook my head as I answered, "Just my Uncle Will and he's in Ohio." We lived in North Carolina and it was almost 10 hours to get to where he lived, but there was no one else closer than him.

"I'll contact him anyway. Do you have his number?" I nodded silently and pulled up his contact on my phone before handing it to her. I knew as she told him that he would want to talk to me and normally I would jump at the chance to catch up with my favorite (and only) uncle, but I didn't have anything to say. Before I could be asked to speak to him I leaned across the seat and tried to fall asleep, which wasn't very hard after everything that had happened in the last hour.

I didn't know what time it was when I woke up and I didn't care. I groggily sat up and noticed that it was dark outside. Guess that explained why I was hungry, but I didn't really want to eat anything. I looked to my left and saw Lily curled up asleep next to her mother. I was so glad they were here with me, I don't think I would be able to do this, survive this, without them.

I slowly approached the desk and the man sitting behind it looked at me. "Can I help you with something?" He asked gently.

"Umm, can I see my mom? Katheryn Smith." I told him.

As he realized that the person I wanted to see was dead, he sent me a sad reassuring smile. "Sure, come with me." As he led me down the halls he reminded me, "Remember, she was in a car accident, her body won't look like what you're used to. Are you sure you want to do this?" He inquired.

I nodded my head. I had to do this, I had to say goodbye. I took a deep breath as I faced the door we had stopped in front of. The morgue. Before I could run away, I gripped the handle and burst into the room. She lay in the middle of the room, covered in a sheet.

"Oh my god, oh my god." I gasped, covering my mouth, as I approached my mom. There was blood crusted in her light brown hair, and cuts all across her face and neck. I shuddered to think of what injuries might be hidden under the sheet. I reached my hand out to touch her bruised face. She was so cold.

"Mommy," I whispered, "I love you. I love you so much. I wish you were still here." I backed away when I realized that my tears were dripping onto her. I whirled when I heard something scraping across the floor. The man that had brought me here was pulling a chair over for me. I nodded my thanks, too choked up to speak. I sank into the chair and sat beside the table, just looking at what used to be my mother.

The nurse had to leave, but assured me that he would come back to get me if there was any news of my father. I spent hours just sitting there, as dawn arose.

I didn't turn as I heard the door open. I did turn, however, when I heard the voice. "Jessie." That was all he said.

"Uncle will!" I cried out as I ran to him. He held me tight in his arms, and I felt warm for the first time today. "How did you get here so fast?" I asked.

"I drove all night, I had to get here." He fell silent as he noticed who I had been sitting with. "Katie," He murmured. I watched as he slowly walked over to mom's body. He shook as he started crying. I hugged him from behind, knowing it was my turn to be strong and someone else's turn to cry.

Once he stopped I softly spoke, "I'm going to go see if I'm allowed to visit Dad. Come when you're ready." He nodded, but kept staring at Mom's face.

After studying the map of the hospital hung on the wall, I located the waiting room I had been staying in and found my way there. Lily was awake when I got there. She rushed over immediately. "Did your Uncle find you?"

"Yeah he did. Do you know if I can see my dad yet?" She shook her head but walked over with me to the desk. "Hey again," I said to the familiar attendant, "Can I see my dad now?"

I had never known how much a simple 'yes' could affect me.

I'm sitting alone once again, just at my father's side instead of my mother's. They said he was in a light coma, but that they didn't know if he would wake or even survive the day. They had managed to stop the internal bleeding, but he was still bruised and battered. I lived off the shallow breaths telling me he was still alive. I was terrified that if I left or fell asleep he would slip away and I wouldn't even know. I had also been told that he might be able to hear me, so I talked to him.

I talked about mom, what I was feeling, how much I wanted him to wake up, but most importantly how much I loved him.

"Jess?" Lily asked from the doorway. "You need to eat."

"I can't leave him alone."

"You can't starve yourself. Go eat, I'll watch over him." She commanded and I knew better than to object. I hugged her before I left, to let her know how much I appreciated her.

I forced down the hospital food, I didn't really taste any of it. Come to think of it, I can't even remember what I put on my plate. All I know is that it was edible. I looked up when Lily's mom came rushing in.

"Jessica! He's awake."

I ran through the hallways. All I knew was that I had to get to him. Lily was waiting for me in the doorway and she quickly ushered me in. I fell to my knees next to the bed and grabbed my dad's hands.

"Daddy?" I breathed. His head turned towards me a fraction of an inch and I felt his hand squeeze mine. I started laughing and crying at the same time. He was alive.

"I-" He rasped. "I love you too." Then he started coughing and coughing and I couldn't do anything but call a nurse and watch.

"Clear his bed." A nurse ordered as she entered the room. I backed away as three people surrounded my dad. Uncle Will also ran in, and I held his hand as we both watched. I panicked when I heard the flat line. No, he couldn't be… They rushed to use what I think was called a defibrillator and tried to bring him back but I lost hope after the third try. So did the doctors. I drifted out of the room when they noted time of death. I didn't want to watch anymore.

I'm an orphan.

Everything's a blur. I slip into the black dress that's been hanging in my closet and blindly follow my Uncle Will to the car. The words said at the funeral all muddle together. Only a few tears slip out of my eyes, there's none left anymore. People come up to me and tell me they're sorry or that everything will be okay. I just nod and smile, not looking them in the eye. Lily stays by my side the whole time along with her mom and Uncle Will.

I look at their combined headstone one more time before I leave. Their names, Katheryn Schuester-Smith and Luke Smith are engraved along with the dates of their births and their deaths. Below lies the epitaph that Uncle Will helped me pick out. _When words fail music speaks._ I chose it to commemorate their shared love and passion for music that they had passed on to me

Once the funeral is over we head back to my house for the last time. I've been packing up my stuff the past week and I'm leaving North Carolina to live with my Uncle in Ohio. Not even a fourth of the way through the first semester of my freshman year and I'm switching schools.

I emptied my locker out yesterday. Lily helped me. I finished up all my current schoolwork. Lily couldn't believe that I still had to do it, but honestly it helped to be able to bury myself in the work, it kept me from thinking about my parents.

Uncle Will already packed up all my clothes and my favorite things. Everything else would go into storage. I also had my violin stashed in the back seat of his car. Uncle Will and I didn't have the heart to sort through mom and dad's things yet so we called in movers to pack it all up. All their stuff would also go into storage. I did take two things though. I grabbed my dad's acoustic guitar (even though I have no clue how to play it) and my mom's favorite necklace, two sapphire butterflies with the word dream between them.

All that was left to do was say goodbye.

"Hey," I announce as I walk up to Lily.

"I can't believe you're leaving." Lily says as she pulls me into a tight hug.

"I know." I mutter back. It was hard to absorb all these changes happening at once.

"You better call me when you get there."

"Yes mom," I mock reflexively before realizing what I said. I immediately burst into tears. "I don't know what I'm going to do Lil'." I cry.

"I can't promise it's going to be okay, just know that I'm always here if you need me. Just give me 10 hours' notice so I can get there." Lily joked.

"I'm gonna miss you." I finish.

"Ditto Jess." We let go and I wipe my tears away.

"Love ya." I call as I climb into the car.

She waves as Uncle Will gets in the driver's seat.

"You ready, Jessie?" My uncle asks and I nod.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

**A/N: So this is the beginning of my Glee story. Hope you like it. This is my first multiple chapter story so it may be a little rough at first.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 (Welcome to McKinley)

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm back. We will actually be getting into the show during this chapter. I will be following canon but there will be changes. Hope you like it **

**Disclaimer: The song used does not belong to me nor does the Glee plot or any recognizable characters.**

"Jessica!" Aunt Terri's shrill voice wakes me up. Where am I? Then everything starts rushing back. My parents, the accident. I choked back the tears, I was sick of feeling sad all the time. Today was the first day of my new life.

"Jessica." Aunt Terri calls again as she walks into the room. "Oh good, you're awake. I have to leave to go to work. Will is in the kitchen making breakfast. He took a couple of days off to be here with you, don't waste it." And with that she was off. I could just make out what she said to Uncle Will as she left, "There. Nice enough for you?" No wonder she seemed so friendly. Or less malicious I guess.

I've never liked my aunt. Don't get me wrong, I tried, I really did, but from the first time I met her she rubbed me the wrong way. I still think Uncle Will could do way better, but then again, who am I to judge? I've never even been on a date.

I yawned as I got up from the couch. I'm definitely sleeping in the guest room tonight, I thought, since my back cracked as I stretched. I stumbled my way into the kitchen, following the delicious smell.

"Whatcha making?" I asked my uncle as I entered the room.

"Your favorite, chocolate chip pancakes." He grinned as I cheered. He always knew how to make me smile.

"You don't have to take off work just for me. I'd be okay." I felt guilty for taking away from his job.

"Jessie, first of all I'm taking time off for myself too and secondly I want to be here for you."

"Thanks," I said as I hugged him. After being told where the dishes were, I grabbed two plates and brought them over. Once we each had a stack of pancakes on our plates we headed over to the table.

"Ewwwww," I said, "I still can't believe you like syrup on your pancakes. Gross."

"Me? You're the weird one." He replied as he dramatically licked the syrup off his fork. We both laughed before finishing our food.

We spent the day unpacking what was now my room together. It was tedious but we got through it, singing songs and playing games.

"Thanks for helping." I said as we sat on the couch watching TV.

"Of course. But Jessie, we do need to discuss when you're going to start going to school here. I don't want to rush you, you deserve a break, but you can't put it off forever."

"I know. Actually, how soon can I be enrolled? I want something to take my mind off everything."

He seemed surprised, but recovered quickly. "Well it would probably take a few days to get all your information transferred and the paperwork filled out, but if you're really interested I can see if I can take you in with me as a sort of tour of the school."

"Sure, that sounds cool."

"You're taking Spanish right?"

"Sí señor." I smiled as he laughed.

"Well, there you go, you already know one teacher."

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching whatever came on TV until Terri got home. We ordered Arby's so no one had to cook and once I finished my delicious chocolate turnover I decided to explore the back yard. It was small mostly just the porch and a few patches of grass, but it was so peaceful.

Now that I was alone the tears I had held in all day let themselves out. It was so hard, acting like everything was normal and okay when it wasn't. How could everyone keep going on with their lives as mine went out of control?

I wiped my eyes and looked at the sky, just focusing on my breathing. Once I managed to get my tears under control, I did what came naturally. I sang.

**(A/N: What Jessica sings will be **_**italicized,**_** what Mr. Shue sings will be bold and when they sing together it will be ****underlined****.)**

(Drink a beer: Luke Bryan)

_When I got the news today_

_I didn't know what to say_

_So I just hung up the phone_

_I took a walk to clear my head_

_This is where the walking led_

_Can't believe you're really gone_

_Don't feel like going home_

So I'm gonna sit right here

On the edge of this pier

And watch the sunset disappear

And drink a beer

**Funny how the good ones go**

**Too soon but the good lord knows**

**The reasons why, I guess**

**Sometimes the greater plan**

**Is kinda hard to understand**

**Right now it don't make sense**

**Can't make it all make sense**

So I'm gonna sit right here

On the edge of this pier

And watch the sunset disappear

And drink a beer

_So long my friend_

_Until we meet again_

_I'll remember you _

_And all the times that we used to_

Sit right here

On the edge of this pier

And watch the sunset disappear

And drink a beer

**Drink a beer**

_Drink a beer_

"It's so hard." I cried into Uncle Will's shirt as he hugged me.

"Shhh, I know sweetheart, I know."

I woke up the next day to the familiar sound of my alarm. I had convinced Uncle Will to let me tour the school with him today. Though it was earlier than what I was used to for the past couple weeks, it wasn't hard to wake up since I actually had something to do today. Now the hard part was actually getting myself to get out of bed.

I got dressed and grabbed my phone before heading out and making toast for myself and my uncle. As I was buttering the bread Uncle Will entered the room, still in his pj's.

"You know we don't have to leave for another half hour right?" He asked as he stole a slice of toast.

"I know, I wasn't tired." That was a lie, part of me wanted to just lie in bed all day and cry, but I knew my parents would want me to get on with my life. That was the same reason I forced a smile on my face as we ate our food.

As Uncle Will went back to his room to get ready I laid down on the couch and played games on my phone while simultaneously snap chatting Lilly who complained about how early it was.

I managed to avoid Terri altogether, ducking down under a blanket when she passed through the room. Childish I know, but I didn't feel like dealing with her today.

"Alright Jessie," Uncle Will called. "Time to go."

I was silent for most of the ride to the school, not excited anymore but nervous instead.

"You haven't," I started, "told anyone about… about mom and dad yet have you?"

"No, why?"

"I just… I don't want anyone to know. At least not yet. I don't want to have to answer questions about it, I just wanna pretend everything's normal." I explained.

"I understand, Jessie. I won't tell the other teachers or students. However, I do think when you start that we should set up sessions for you with the guidance counselor."

I tried to protest, but once Uncle Will put his foot down, that was that.

As we entered the school parking lot, I took a deep breath. The school was huge. There were other kids everywhere, _well duh_, I told myself, _of course there are_. Uncle Will got out of the car and I clambered after him. As we headed towards the school I felt like everyone was watching me but I knew I was being paranoid. They probably didn't even notice I was there.

As we passed a group of boys, Uncle Will decided to say hi.

"Hey guys. Making some new friends, Kurt?"

"He sure is, Mr. Shue." A jock with a mohawk answered. That was obviously a lie.

Uncle Will just kept going, "Hey, Finn, you still owe me that report on-" Then he said something in Spanish. God I was rusty, I only picked out the word summer.

Finn was also confused, "What?"

"What you did last summer." Uncle Will answered.

I jogged to keep up with Uncle Will, but turned to look back at the group of boys. The odd one out, what was his name? Lucas? Curtis? I don't know, but I watched him take off his jacket and hand it to one of the other boys before being thrown in the dumpster.

What kind of school was this?

"Come on, Jess." Uncle Will called from ahead and I spun and ran to catch up to him.

As we walked down the hallways Uncle Will pointed out different room and places, though I probably wouldn't remember any of it. We did, however, stop at a portrait of a woman next to a Show Choir Championships trophy in the trophy case.

"We won this in Glee club." Uncle Will stated.

"We?"

"I was part of it."

"What exactly is Glee club anyway?" My old school didn't have a glee club, at least as far as I know.

"It's an arts program," He explained. "You sing and perform at different competitions throughout the region. You know, with your voice you'd probably be really good at it."

I shot that idea down immediately. "Uh-uh no way. It'll be hard enough to make friends and catch up on schoolwork without having to take part in some performing group."

"Well if you change your mind I'd be happy to help you get in. You know, I've always wanted to coach the glee club."

"Yeah, yeah, Mr. High School Glee Star."

After being shown around and receiving many questioning looks I hung out with Uncle Will in his classroom. I had nowhere else to go so I just sat with him as he went through his classes. Let me just say that I was very happy to escape the repetitive loop of Spanish review when Uncle Will had a planning period. Plus him having to explain three times now why I was in his room. Haven't even enrolled here yet and I was sure there would be gossip about the new girl.

_Stop being paranoid_, I told myself as I followed Uncle Will to the teacher's lounge.

I had been surprised that I would be allowed in the Teacher's Lounge. Yay for special advantages for being related to a teacher I guess. Or that the principal knew my situation since he had to approve Uncle Will's absence and took pity on us.

"What happened to the coffee pot?" Uncle Will asked as we entered the room.

"Figgins got rid of it, budget cuts." Some guy (gym teacher?) answered.

"Why leave the coffee machine?" I questioned, it made no sense.

"Who's this Schuester?"

"Oh this is my niece, Jessica. She's moving in with me."

"Jess," I corrected, "and it's nice to meet you." You know this fake smile thing is getting a little easier every time.

He smiled and shook my hand as a tall blonde woman in a black track suit strided into the room.

"Hello boys. Who needs a pick-me-up?" She started to explain how to make the perfect latte when she looked up and noticed me. "And who might this be?"

"I'm Jessica, Will is my uncle."

"It can't be, your hair looks nothing like the monstrosity that is eating Will's head as we speak." She replied with a smirk.

Uncle Will just shook his head so I assumed this was a normal thing.

"Hi Emma," the gym teacher chimed happily as a red head entered the room.

"Hey," she replied quietly. "Oh, are you the Jessie I've heard so much about?" And now two people call me Jessie.

"Yeah, I'm Jessica." I told her.

"Will told me you're enrolling. If you ever need anything, make sure to come see me." She must have seen my questioning glance because she explained. "I'm the guidance counselor."

"Oh okay. Cool. Hey, Uncle Will, is it all right if I look around the school? I promise I won't disturb any classes, I just want to get a feel for this place."

"You? Cause trouble?" He asked sarcastically. "Sure, just keep your phone on you."

I wandered the halls for a bit before finding a wall of informational papers. I grabbed a map, so I could at least wander with purpose.

After another ten minutes or so of that, I decided to look for the band room. Uncle Will had told me they had a really good orchestra program here and I was excited to see what it was like.

I found the band room and peered through the little windows on the sides of the doors and saw that there were a lot of people in there, must be a band class. Since I didn't want to disturb their class and felt like a creeper staring at people through the window, I continued down the hall.

I was walking down a different hallway, lost, when the bell rang and students started pouring out of their classes and into the hall.

Panicking, I reached for the first door I saw without people in the doorway and rushed through. I sighed with relief when I saw that there was no one in here. As I looked around, I realized this wasn't a typical classroom.

For one thing there were no desks anywhere in the room, just a few chairs and stools. My eyes widened as I looked at the grand piano sitting in the middle of the room. Tears came to my eyes as I approached it and I angrily rubbed them away. My mom had always wanted a piano. Dad and I were planning on getting one for her birthday this year, I was so excited to see what she would think. I guess now I'll never know.

"Who are you?" a voice startled me from behind, but I didn't turn around so they couldn't see my face.

"Doesn't matter." I snapped.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I did to make you mad but I need the choir room to rehearse." The girl said.

Rehearse? Maybe she was in orchestra. I discreetly checked my phone to make sure it didn't look like I was crying before turning and facing her. She had straight brown hair and brown eyes, though I was disappointed to see that she didn't hold an instrument case of any kind.

"Sorry, I've had a rough day." I apologized as I realized that she was right. I was being mean.

She flashed me a bright smile and replied, "It's okay, besides I've had a lot of practice facing adversity. I'm Rachel Berry."

"Jessica Smith."

"You wouldn't happen to play piano would you? I want to practice the song I'm going to use when a new glee director is found."

"New glee director?" I asked confused.

"The old one, Mr. Ryerson, got fired."

"Why?"

"It wasn't me!" She exclaimed.

"Ooookkkaayy." I replied awkwardly.

"Okay, I did, but we needed someone new to run the Glee Club. Mr. Ryerson wasn't good enough and he couldn't see my obvious star potential."

"Okay," I replied, not sure what to think, but I had no clue who this guy was anyway. "Well, if you want, I play violin. If you have sheet music and a spare violin I can play for you."

"That would be great, look this through so you'll be able to keep up." She stated before rushing out of the room in search of what I assumed was a violin I could use. As I looked through the folder she shoved at me I saw she had the music for a couple of instruments. I couldn't help but wonder why, it wasn't likely that she played them all.

Once I found the violin 1 part I took it and looked through it. It didn't look too hard, adding in the fact that it was a little on the slow side.

By the time Rachel reentered the room with a violin case I was itching to play something.

Once I was done tuning the random violin she had found, Rachel sang a little so I could get the tempo and then we started. There were a few rough patches because I was a bit rusty but for the most part it was really good. Especially with Rachel's voice. I honestly didn't think she needed to practice anymore, and I told her that.

"You're amazing," I praised.

She smiled, "Thanks. You're not too bad yourself, not as good as me of course, but it sounded really pretty." As she took the music to _On My Own_ back from me she continued to speak. "What grade are you in? I don't think I've seen you in any of my classes."

"Oh, I'm a freshman but I just moved here so you wouldn't have seen me."

"Well, let me be the first to welcome you to McKinley High. I hope I see you when you start classes." And with that she was gone, she had muttered something about cleaning slushy off her locker. I don't know why, she must have spilled it or something.

I was distracted as I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Uncle Will had texted saying 9th period was almost over and that I should come back to his room.

I hadn't been sure about whether I wanted to come here or not, what with the guy being thrown in the dumpster and all, but playing with Rachel had helped. I felt like I could be something here. I just hoped it wasn't an illusion.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Remember how you said you wanted to coach glee club?" I asked Uncle Will as the three of us ate dinner.

"Yeah, why?"

"When I was wandering the school I ran into this girl, a singer, and she said the old one got fired."

"Really?" He perked up as I said that. "I mean, that's terrible." He really was a bad liar.

"Will, I thought you were over this whole glee club idea." Aunt Terri added as she slurped her noodles.

"I just never thought I'd get the chance to actually do it. I'm going to talk to Mr. Figgins tomorrow." Uncle Will stated. The rest of dinner was filled with silence as Aunt Terri didn't want to talk to Will and she avoided talking to me, plus the fact that I didn't really feel like saying anything at all anymore.

* * *

The next day I slept in and when I woke up everyone else was gone. Uncle Will and Aunt Terri must have already left for work. Uncle Will had told me last night that I'd be able to start school tomorrow. Today was my last day of freedom. I know I told Uncle Will that I wanted to start school as soon as possible but now that it was actually happening I was nervous.

I didn't want to have to make new friends. I missed Lilly. I just wanted everything to go back to the way it was. I closed my eyes when I felt tears coming. If I started crying I wouldn't be able to stop.

Once I got myself under control, or at least stopped crying, I went to look for my book bag. When I found it I took a deep breath and opened it. I hadn't touched it since I packed up everything in my locker a few days ago. It felt like so much longer than it really was.

I didn't really care about my binders or anything else. I would have to start everything new anyways. I was scared of the bottom layer of my backpack. The pictures I kept on my locker wall.

The first one wasn't so bad, just a pic of Lilly and I laughing at something. The next few didn't affect me too much either, just Lilly and I plus some of our other friends. However, the last two pictures made me wish I hadn't even brought them. The first was a picture of Dad, Mom, and I at a picnic. I could still remember that weekend. Mom and Dad took time off and we all went out together. We only went to the park, nothing special, but I loved it.

The second picture was of my mom holding me when I was younger, maybe a toddler. It always made me laugh, because she had given me a sticker book and I had managed to cover every inch of my body with them.

I smiled as I looked at the pictures. I walked over to my new room, bag forgotten, and stopped at the wall across from my bed. A few pieces of scotch tape and five minutes later I had the beginnings of a mini collage.

* * *

I was sitting on my bed, newly emptied backpack sitting on my desk, when Uncle Will walked in that afternoon. I waited in silence as he looked at my pictures. He chuckled when he found the one of me covered in stickers. "Katie loved this picture." He told me as he joined me on the bed.

"I miss them." I whispered.

"I know you do. I think we always will, but they would want us to be happy." I knew that, somewhere in my heart, but it was so hard.

"C'mon Jessie, let's go get ice cream." And with that I knew that as long as I had Uncle Will, at least some part of my life would be okay.

* * *

"This is really good," I praised as I licked my ice cream cone.

"Told you I know the best place," Uncle Will told me from the other side of the picnic table that we were sitting at.

"I know, I know, I'll never doubt you again," I teased, "So what did Mr. Figgins say about you running Glee Club?"

I could tell it wasn't good from the way he sighed. "You can't tell Terri, but if I do agree to run Glee I'll have to pay $60 a month to keep the club up and running. At least until the glee club starts winning for the school again."

"But it's an extracurricular."

"They still need money and there's been a lot of budget cuts, plus the fact that Sue and her cheerios are getting pretty much all of the money." He shook his head. "I just don't know what we'll do. I really want to do this."

"Then do it," I declared, "If you want to do it I can get a job and help you pay the money."

He immediately declined that idea, "No. We'll just need to spend a little less money for a bit and I'll see if I can do any extra work at school to get some additional money." As he finished the thought he seemed to realize that he was talking as if he had already made the decision.

I grinned, "I guess McKinley has a new Glee director."

"We need a new name though, I don't want anyone to think Glee is going to stay the same with me as director. I want to make it better."

We sat there coming up with random names as we ate our ice cream. Mine were mostly jokes but Uncle Will came up with a few names. We had it narrowed down to blended harmonies and golden voices, but neither of them really felt right.

"I give up," I sighed exasperated. Who knew it was so hard to come up with a name for a glee club?

"Just sleep on it, maybe we can come up with some tomorrow. Oh, Jessie, before I forget. Do you want to ride the bus home after school or wait for me to finish up and just come home with me?" Crap, I completely forgot about having to start school tomorrow.

"I'll just stay after with you."

"Ok." He must've seen the look on my face. "It's going to be okay, I promise. McKinley's not that bad and everyone's really nice."

I raised my eyebrows and gave him a pointed look. "Ok, ok, maybe not everyone but I'm sure you'll make new friends. You're an amazing person."

"Thanks Uncle Will, but you're biased." I replied, sticking my tongue out at him.

"But it's true I swear. Plus I'm older so I can pull seniority. I'm right." He said with a laugh as I rolled my eyes. He acted so much like a kid sometimes.

"Come on, let's go home." He said as he pulled me up from the picnic table and started walking towards the car.

* * *

BEEP BEEP BEEP. Uggghhhhh. What is that?

BEEP BEEP BEEP. Whose alarm is that? Why aren't they turning it off, I'm trying to sleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP. I groaned as I opened my eyes. Why can't people turn off thei- I shot out of bed when I realized it was my alarm. I quickly turned it off and sighed. I wanted to sleep.

After changing I grabbed my backpack and headed to the kitchen. My stomach grumbled when the delicious smell of food hit my nose. I didn't care what it was, I just wanted to devour it.

"Good morning, good morning." My Uncle sang imitating some commercial I had seen, I was too tired to figure out which one. I groaned in response and he laughed. "I made some sausage and eggs for your first day of school."

"As long as it's edible, that's all I care about."

"Well then you're in luck." He chuckled as he served me and I stumbled over to the table. It was a good thing he was carrying my plate over for me, because I managed to trip over myself and fall flat on my butt. I could tell Uncle Will was laughing at me, although he was covering it up pretty well.

"Shut up." I stated, half kidding half too tired to care.

I slowly climbed into the passenger side as Uncle Will grabbed his keys. Honestly, I was glad I didn't have to ride the bus like I did before since mom and d-. Nope not right now, I cannot cry on my first day.

I was glad I didn't have to ride the bus like I did before. It was always crowded and loud, plus I could never find a seat.

"Hey," Uncle Will said as he got in the car, "You want to help me hang up Glee audition posters around the school?"

"Sure, it's not like I have anything else to do." But not for long, I was already behind in school because I had missed the last two weeks or so, plus I didn't know what they were learning here. School was not going to be fun.

"I still think you should join Glee club. I think you would like it."

"I'm not really that great of a singer."

"Yes you are!" He argued. "Plus you're related to me, you have to be a good singer." He joked. "But, seriously, I think you'd have a lot of fun."

"Okay, how about this? I will help you run glee club and if I like it then I'll join."

"Deal."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry my chapter's late. When I started this I wanted to update every week but right now I need to focus on my grades. I am going to try to keep updating every other week. We'll see, anyway hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't anything glee or the song, just Jess.**

Chapter 4 -First Day

We fell silent as we entered the parking lot. We must have left earlier than last time, because there was almost no one in the parking lot.

"I need to finish making up the audition sign-up sheets for Glee." He explained when I shot him a questioning glance.

"Where do I get my schedule?" I asked as we walked towards the doors.

"Oh, the guidance counselor, Emma has it. Or Ms. Pillsbury for you I guess. You met her for a few minutes last time, remember?" Oh right, the redhead. She seemed nice enough.

"Ok, I'll go see if she's here yet and then go to your room." He nodded and we split up. The only reason I remembered where her office was, was because I thought the fact that it had windows instead of a wall was really cool.

As I walked up I was surprised to see that she was in fact already here. I knocked on the door as I approached and she gestured for me to come in.

"Hi, umm Uncle Will said you would have my schedule." I said as I approached her desk.

"Yes, take a seat and I will find it for you." I sat there silently looking around her room as she searched through her papers. There were a lot of pamphlets with some funny titles. I stopped reading the titles when Ms. Pillsbury cleared her throat.

"So, this is your schedule." She said as she slid the paper across to me. "You're going to have Spanish first with your uncle, then history, study hall, English 9, lunch, geometry, biology and finally orchestra 9th period." Cool, I would get to end the day with orchestra.

"But," uh-oh, buts aren't good, "twice a week you will be coming to me instead of going to study hall. We can make it more times if necessary, but that will be the minimum for at least first quarter."

I groaned as I remembered what Uncle Will had told me, about making me have counseling sessions. I really didn't want to sit around and talk about my feelings. "I know it doesn't sound fun, but it's for the best. I know you're going through a tough time and Will is too, I just want to help make this transition easier for you."

I nodded silently, just wishing she would hurry up and let me go. "Ok, you can leave, but I need you to report here 3rd period." I nodded again before hurriedly walking out of her office. Students were starting to arrive, and I avoided looking at them as I looked for my new assigned locker.

"1142?" A familiar peppy voice asked.

"Yeah," I said as I looked up, "Rachel?" I knew the voice sounded familiar.

She smiled, "I was wondering who would get this locker. One of the jocks had it, but I guess my 'unpopularity' is contagious and 'insanely annoying' so he had it switched.

I replied as I put in the combination, "Well, I'm here to stay so…." I trailed off as I got the locker open and stuck the new binders Uncle Will had gotten me on the top shelf. I wouldn't need more than one since it was my first day.

"Hey," I called to Rachel before she walked away. "I'm helping my Uncle put up sign-up sheets for Glee Club if you want to check later today."

"Thanks, I'll look for it." She smiled before striding away.

I slowly shut my locker and leaned against it. Today was going to be a long day.

* * *

I trudged out of Spanish and headed in the direction Uncle Will had pointed me in to get to my History class. It actually hadn't been too bad, although extra time at the end of class to talk doesn't really benefit when you have no one to talk to.

Since I had no friends to go talk to and didn't need to get anything from my locker, I was one of the first people in the class. I introduced myself to the teacher and sat in the desk she pointed to. I sat quietly as other students finally began to pour into the classroom. The bell rang and the teacher began her lesson.

"Welcome back guys. You might have noticed, but we have a new student in class today. Her name is Jessica Smith." I waved as she introduced me. "Jessica? Can you tell us a little about yourself?"

Oh wonderful. I hated public speaking. She motioned for me to stand up and I slowly did. "Um, hi. I'm Jessica, which you already know. You can call me Jess. Uh, I don't know, I like to sing?" I trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

"What about your family Jessica?" The teacher prompted.

"Oh, you might know my Uncle, Mr. Shue. He's the Spanish teacher."

"What about your parents, why did you guys move up here? Was it a job transfer?" The teacher continued to question me.

"I- uh." I could feel myself starting to cry at the thought of my parents. "I moved because-" I couldn't get myself to continue.

"Are you crying?" A boy asked.

I looked around the room and everyone was giving me strange looks. I couldn't take it anymore and I ran for the door. The teacher called after me but I didn't turn, I just kept running. I didn't know where I was when I ducked into one of the back staircases and slid to the ground, tears sliding down my face. I could still remember my first day of high school.

* * *

_I yawned as I looked at the clock that told me it was 6:00. It had taken me so long to fall asleep last night, I was so nervous for my first day of high school. I slowly slid on the outfit I had picked out last night. I was going to try and look nice but then I worried that it would seem like too much, so I gave up and went for my standard t-shirt and jeans. It was one of my favorite shirts, saying 'Hakuna Matata' and it made me happy so I thought, why not?_

_I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs. "Hey beautiful," my dad said as I walked in._

"_Hi." I replied as I hugged him good morning._

"_I have to leave to go to work soon but I wanted to stay and wish my little girl good luck for her first day of school." He laughed as I stuck my tongue out at him. "You'll do great, I promise. You're amazing." He kissed my forehead and said goodbye before walking out to his car. I poured myself some cereal and sat eating it as I tried to imagine what high school would be like. It couldn't be too different, could it?_

_As I psyched myself out before I even got to school, my mom joined me in the kitchen._

"_You excited?" She asked as she sat down beside me._

"_No," I whined "Do I have to go?"_

_She gave me a knowing look before responding. "You and I both know the answer to that question. You're so strong Jess, you'll do fine. Besides, Lily will be there right?" She reminded me._

"_Yeah," I replied. I hugged her, "Thanks, I'm ready to go now."_

"_Okay kiddo, let me just grab my keys."_

_We headed out to the car and I wasn't nervous anymore. I smiled when my mom turned on the radio. We loved to turn it up and sing whenever we drove anywhere._

_We had been rocking out for at least 20 minutes (it took half an hour to get to school) when a slower song came on and my mom started softly singing to me._

_(Never alone: Jesse Bonanno)_

Never alone

When your hope has been broken

And the fear is unspoken but true

You're never alone

Like a dream in a child

Or a childish dream in you

I'll do anything that I can do

To show you my love and comfort you

When you can't seem to find your way home

And when life gets too hard

To face on your own

I will stand as your light

Through your darkest unknown

I will walk with you

So you're never alone

You're never alone

Like a tear in the ocean

Or a star on a clear winter night

You're never alone

When the courage you needed

Has been all but defeated in you

I'll do anything that I can do

To show you I'll love and comfort you

When you can't seem to find your way home

And when life gets too hard

To face on your own

I will stand as your light

Through your darkest unknown

I will walk with you

So you're never alone

Never alone

Never alone

Never alone

When you can't seem to find your way home

And when life gets too hard

To face on your own

I will stand as your light

Through your darkest unknown

I will walk with you

I will walk with you

I will walk with you

So you're never alone

_As she finished, we pulled into the drop-off lane of my new school. "Thanks mom," I whispered as I hugged her goodbye and opened the car door._

"_I love you Jess. You'll be fine." And with a wave she was off, leaving me ready to face the world._

* * *

I had been so scared that day too, but Mom and Dad had gotten me through it and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. But now all it did was remind me of how much I've lost. I wish they were still here, I needed them, and I wished I could tell them that one more time.

As I sat there sobbing, I hadn't noticed the pack of football jocks heading my way, slushies in hand. Wiping my face I looked up at them as they stopped. I tried to look tough but I knew it was obvious that I had been crying. My eyes always got red and puffy, even if I only cried for a short time.

"What do we have here?" One guy asked.

"Easy prey." Another laughed.

"Isn't that usually supposed to be a rhetorical question?" I sniffled.

At least half of them had no clue what I said and the other half just got mad at me for going against what they said. They readied their slushies and I shielded my face as I realized that they were going to throw them at me, but the hit never came. I slowly opened one eye then the other and what I saw surprised me. The mohawk jock I had seen that very first day throwing a kid in the dumpster was standing in front of the 6 other guys.

"Stop," he commanded, still standing over me.

"Why Puck? Too much of a wimp to slushy a girl?" They mocked.

"No." He snapped. "But we don't slushy _crying_ girls."

"Since when has that stopped you?"

He visibly hesitated and I wondered what he would do next. "You can't slushy girls I have dibs on Karofsky." He boldly stated and I gaped at him as the other guys wolf whistled. _What?_

Karofsky scowled before turning, "Let's go guys, she's not worth it."

Once they all left, mohawk jock turned to me. I discreetly slid a few more inches away from him, but it didn't make a difference because he just plopped himself down onto the floor next to me. "Why'd you say you had dibs on me?" I demanded.

He raised his hands with a 'don't attack me' look and replied, "It was the first thing that came to my mind that they would actually believe. I just didn't want you to get slushied. A little advice by the way, I wouldn't recommend crying anywhere in this school. They see it as weakness. Doesn't help anything."

"Thanks, for saving me I mean. But, why me?" He didn't seem like the kind to stop random girls from being slushied, unless he wanted something from them. Plus he didn't know me and from what the other guys said it sounded like he usually didn't stop people from getting hit with the frozen drinks.

He shrugged. "I don't know, you just seem like a nice girl. But, don't tell anyone, I don't want to lose my rep." I laughed as I nodded.

"What's your name?" I asked. "I've been calling you mohawk jock in my head but…"

He chuckled. "I'm Noah Puckerman, but you can call me Puck."

"I'm Jessica Smith, but you can call me Jess."

"Okay Jess. I have to go, but it was nice to meet you." He waved and was gone. I got up and was surprised to find that I didn't feel like crying anymore.

I headed to a bathroom and cleaned up my face and got back to my history class right as the bell rang. I managed to sneak in and grab my stuff without the teacher seeing me and headed straight to Ms. Pillsbury's office.

"Hi, Jess." Ms. Pillsbury greeted me as soon as I walked through the door. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah" I replied hesitantly. Something about her tone was off.

"Because Ms. Johansen called and you apparently ran out of the room and never came back. Care to explain?"

"No?" I answered tentatively, but the look she gave me told me that wasn't the right answer. "Okay, I just needed to get out of there. She had me tell the class about myself and I would've been fine but she asked me about my parents and I didn't know what to say so I panicked, and then I started crying, so I just left." I hurriedly explained.

Ms. Pillsbury's face softened as she listened to what I had to say. "If you need a few more days before you start school again, I'm sure it would be allowed. You've been through a lot recently."

I shook my head. Putting it off wouldn't make it any easier, I just had to face it head on. "No, I need to do this now, or I never will. I know I told my Uncle that I didn't want everyone to know that my parents- that my parents… died, but I think it would be easier if my teachers knew so that I wouldn't have to deal with any questions like today."

"Okay, whatever you want. I'll go talk to Ms. Johansen right now since she has a free period so that she knows why you missed her class. After that I can talk to your other teachers or send an email."

"I don't care, as long as I don't have to say anything." I replied quickly.

"Okay, I'll go take care of it for you." She told me. "You can hang out in here and do whatever until your next class, just don't leave the room unless it's an emergency." And with that she was off. I think she was glad there was something she could do to help me, and this would hopefully make the rest of my classes easier.

As I was listening to my music I was surprised to get a text message. I opened it and saw that it was from Lily: **Hey Jess. I hope you're settling in okay. Just wanted to remind you that I'm here and that I love ya. Okay, I know this isn't the best news, but I sent you an email. They put out an article about what happened to your parents and I thought you might want to read it. They caught the drunk driver who did it. You don't have to read it or anything, just thought I'd let you know 3**

I rubbed the sides of my head as I processed the new information. They caught the man who murdered my parents. That was good. Was it supposed to make me feel happy? I just felt drained. There was one thing I knew for certain though, that I was not reading that article any time soon. I was still getting used to thinking about my parents and remembering something we did without bawling my eyes out, without reading an article entirely about their deaths.

I sighed, I kinda wished Lily hadn't told me anything. I'd rather just put it out of my mind and forget for a while. The bell rang, jolting me back to the present. Okay, I could do this, just like… 6 more classes. I groaned, I wasn't even halfway through the day yet.

* * *

I fought the urge to jump for joy when I heard the final bell ring. The school day was over, I was finally free. I survived.

I was also happy because I didn't have any homework (though they assured me I would have a ton tomorrow) since I had just gotten here. Luckily, it looked like my old school started the semester earlier because most of my classes were at the same unit as my old classes had been when I left, with the exception of my English class which I was actually kind of ahead in because I've already read the book they're focusing on this chapter.

I dropped my stuff off in Uncle Will's room before going to check the flyers he had put up. I really hoped people actually signed up for this glee club thing because it means the world to him. This was the first thing to make him genuinely excited since my parents (and his sister) had died. The first two I checked had no signatures, though I was happy to see Uncle Will had found a name for the group, New Directions. I liked it.

As I approached the last flyer on the main school bulletin board I saw that Rachel was signing her name. I continued walking towards her when I saw Puck and the jocks standing off to the side. I stopped and waved at Puck, and I knew he saw me but he didn't wave back or even smile. It was like I wasn't even there. The smile immediately slid off my face and I just stood there watching the events play out. Puck held a slushy, which was an immediate uh-oh, plus the boys from earlier were all watching him intensely. He must have to make up for defending me earlier and slushy someone else.

"Wait!" I called as I realized who his target was. Puck didn't even acknowledge that I had said anything, and walked up to Rachel, slushied her, and kept walking like nothing had happened. The other jocks high-fived before following Puck and cheering. I ran up to Rachel, who stood there covered in red ice.

"Oh my god, Rachel." I stated, not knowing what else to say.

"It's okay, Jess. Honestly, I'm used to it. That's what happens when people are jealous of my amazing talent." She walked briskly to the girl's bathroom and I trailed behind her, wanting to help somehow. Before I could follow through the doorway she turned to face me. "Look, I know you just want to help, but I'd rather be alone right now." Well if there was any feeling I knew, it was wanting to be alone.

"Okay, see you later?" She smiled and I returned it before turning and heading back to Uncle Will's room.

"How was your first day at McKinley?" My Uncle asked when I returned.

I smirked, "Wasn't the best but I'll survive." Yup, I'll survive.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Day 5. I sighed as I walked into the school and headed to my locker. I stuck my headphones in and turned up my music. I grabbed the stuff I would need for my first few classes and headed to Uncle Will's class. I set my stuff down at my desk in the back of the room and sat down. I was the first one in there, everyone else was out talking to their friends and having fun before classes started. I didn't have any friends so what was the point. A few people have tried to talk to me but I wouldn't answer any of their questions about my past so I guess they just gave up.

I knew they probably meant well, but they were also nosy and couldn't accept that I just didn't want to talk about what happened to me before I moved here, so they just didn't talk to me at all. I knew I should feel lonely but I really didn't. I was kind of a loner at my old school too, I had a few friends that I would talk to and hang out with every once and a while, but the only person I consistently talked to outside of my family was Lilly.

We still text and whenever I feel like I can't go on anymore and don't want to talk to Uncle Will, I call her and she always picks up. I even called her at lunch one time, not thinking ahead to the fact that she was probably in class, but she must have asked permission and answered anyway. It was nice to know that we were still best friends. I had been afraid that we would grow apart, but so far it's been okay.

I look up when I see other students walk in to the classroom. I glance at the clock and realize that the bell had already rang. I reluctantly pause my music and pull my headphones out of my ears. Time to face the day.

* * *

I finally let out the breath I felt like I had been holding all day and relaxed as I walked into my last class. I had finished homework from my earlier classes in study hall (I didn't have to go talk to Ms. Pillsbury today) and I didn't get homework from any of my other teachers. Orchestra never had homework, so I was in the clear.

The orchestra here was small, but it was better than the one at my old school. Most of the people here actually played instead of just texting and doing stuff on their phones while hiding behind their stands. We sight-read a new song today and quickly ran through one of the ones we had looked at earlier in the week. Then we packed up and put our instruments away before waiting for the bell to ring.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and headed to the auditorium to meet Uncle Will. I had agreed to help him with Glee auditions which were scheduled for after school today. "Hey," Uncle Will called out to me as he came down the hallway. "We have five people signed up. If you could wait out here for them, I have a sign in sheet that they need to write down their name, grade and home room. Then just send them in." I nodded and he smiled before striding into the auditorium.

I think he's been using Glee as a way to cope with what happened to mom and dad. He and my mom had always kept in touch and Uncle had told me many times that he had considered my dad a true brother and friend. I knew my parents felt the same, it was part of the reason I was so close to my Uncle, he was always visiting us when I was younger.

I immediately felt bad as I realized I hadn't asked my Uncle how he was feeling lately. I always forgot that he was grieving too. As I came to the decision that I would talk to him when we got home, a girl walked up.

"Hey is this for Glee Club?" She asked as she walked up. I nodded and handed her the blank sign-in sheet. She silently filled it in before asking if she should put the song she would be performing on there. I told her it made sense and she added it on. Then I sent her in. She had a powerful voice, I could hear her from outside the auditorium. After her we had the boy I was pretty sure I recognized as the one who had been thrown into the dumpster, an Asian girl and a boy in a wheel chair. One by one I sent them in as I waited for the last person to show up.

I glance at the sign up sheet Uncle Will had handed to me. The only one we were missing was Rachel. I hoped she hadn't changed her mind, Glee meant a lot to my Uncle and she had an amazing voice. Suddenly, the sound of high heels clicked through the hallway and I saw Rachel walking up.

"Hey, I almost thought you wouldn't show." I told her as I gave her the sign in sheet.

"Of course I came, sorry I'm late though."

"Well, just go on in. I'm sure you'll be awesome, good luck." She smiled as she opened the door and entered the auditorium.

As soon as she finished we all gathered in the auditorium as Uncle Will told them that they all made it and that we would meet Tuesdays and Thursdays after school. Everyone smiled as they left, excited for next week. I waited as Uncle Will grabbed his stuff and we walked out together.

"I know I haven't asked lately, but how are you?" I asked and bumped his shoulder as we walked through the parking lot.

He looked at me before responding. "It's hard but I'm okay. I miss them like crazy but I know I still have you." He hugged me and then we kept walking, with his arm across my shoulders, keeping him close to me. I agreed, I missed them all the time but he helped get me through it. I knew we would get through this.

**A/N: I know this is short, but I need it to set up Glee and Jess's school life. Sorry it's been a while since I've updated.  
As always, hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable Glee characters or the Glee plot**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for the follows and favorites and the reviews. It makes my day. **

**Riana Salvatore: Thanks for the reviews. There will be music in this story, it is glee after all, but I only put in music if I think it fits with what's happening and how Jess is feeling. Sometimes I don't even plan on putting in a song but I'll be listening to music as I'm writing and a song comes on and if it feels right I'll put it in, but if I can't find a good song that goes with Jess's emotions I'm not going to put in any music.**

**Thank you again guys, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the t.v. show Glee or any songs used.**

I sat in one of the chairs in the back of the room as Uncle Will and I waited for everyone to show up for glee. One by one they filed in and Uncle Will gave them all music for _Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat_ and I watched as they set up choreography and began performing. The singing wasn't too bad but I had to put all my effort into not cringing when I saw the dance routine. Uncle Will and I both grimaced when Artie ran into the wall.

"We suck!" Rachel announced. She said a few more things to Uncle Will about how they weren't taking Glee Club seriously and then stormed out.

I raised my eyebrows as Uncle Will called out for her, but she kept going. Uncle Will told us to stay put and went after her. Jeez. I knew she was very serious about all of this but it was the first rehearsal.

"Who does she think she is?" Kurt (I finally figured out the name of the kid who got thrown in the dumpster) asked.

"I didn't think it was that bad." I told them and they all turned, some of them had obviously forgotten I was there. "The choreography needs some work, but I thought your singing was great Artie. You just need to be more confident in yourself."

"Who are you anyway?" Mercedes asked as Artie let a small smile play across his face.

"I'm Mr. Shue's niece. He convinced me to help him out with Glee Club." I informed them. "Is Rachel always like that?" I asked, honestly curious.

"Pretty much." Mercedes told me.

"How do you not know this?" Kurt asked as if it should be obvious to me.

"I just moved here from North Carolina, so I don't really know anyone." I told him. "I haven't made any friends yet, so I don't know stuff like this."

"Well, if y-you want, you c-c-could sit with us at lu-lunch." Tina offered and I smiled.

"Sure." I said, smiling. Sure I don't need friends to be happy, but it would be nice to have people to talk to again. We spent the next 15 minutes talking and getting to know each other until Uncle Will finally came back. Unfortunately Rachel wasn't with him, but it was past time to go so the club disbanded. But it was different than when we all left after auditions. Everyone said bye and Tina reminded me to find her at lunch. This time I felt happy and like I belonged.

"What was that?" Uncle Will asked as we left that day.

"What was what?" I asked still beaming.

"You actually talked to people?" He asked teasing me.

"Yeah," I told him. "When you left to try and get Rachel back we were all talking. Tina invited me to sit with her and Artie at lunch."

"That's great. I'm glad you're making friends. I like to see you happy." He told me. He sighed as he continued. "Unfortunately, Glee Club might be over if we don't find more singers. Rachel won't stay unless we can find a male lead that can 'keep up with her'" He said making quotations with his hands. "Plus Mr. Figgins says Glee Club will be over if we don't place at Regionals."

"That sucks." I told him, knowing how much glee means to him. "What are you gonna do?"

"I'm going to talk to Sue to see if I can get some cheerios to join and then go talk to football." I frowned. "What?" He asked.

"I don't think many football players are gonna want to dance around and sing songs in public." I told him.

"There's got to be something I can do." He said, face twisting in concentration.

"You'll figure something out. You always do, now come on I'll race you to the car." And with that I ran ahead and he started laughing and chasing after me.

We all sat together waiting for my Uncle to show up so we could start Glee rehearsal. We hadn't been able to get any new people to join yet but I was able to convince Rachel to give glee a chance. It took a lot of sucking up to her but she really is nice so it didn't take too long.

"Why don't you sing with us Jess?" Mercedes asked as we all waited.

I immediately laughed and shook my head. "No way, I suck at singing in front of people. Plus I'm not that good."

"Come on, Mr. Shue said you're really good." Rachel added.

"Come on, please." They chorused. Oh god. I looked at all of them begging me to sing and I almost gave in when Uncle Will walked in with someone following him.

"Hey guys, this is Finn and he's joining Glee Club." He actually got someone to join. You could see the shock in all of our faces.

"Finn?" Kurt gasped.

"Hey guys," Finn greeted with a smile. "I don't know how this whole thing goes, but I'm here so… I guess I'll find out."

We all headed out to the stage to start rehearsal when Kurt and Mercedes stopped me. "Girl, we are gonna get you to sing. I promise you that." Mercedes told me and Kurt nodded in agreement.

"Ok ok. I'll sing. Might as well just get it over with right?" They both squealed and dragged me out to the stage.

"Mr. Shue, I know we were supposed to rehearse but we got Jess to agree to sing for us." Kurt announced once they had gotten me onto the stage. Wait, they were gonna make me sing on stage? Oh god.

"Really?" Uncle Will asked surprised, he knew I didn't like singing in front of people.

I slowly nodded already regretting my decision. "I can't believe I'm doing this. No one's allowed to laugh." I stated, glaring at Kurt and Mercedes who just smiled.

_(Dreaming with a Broken Heart: John Mayer)_

_When you're dreamin' with a broken heart  
The wakin' up is the hardest part  
You roll outta bed and down on your knees  
And for a moment you can hardly breathe  
Wonderin' was she really here  
__Is she standin' in my room  
No she's not  
Cuz she's gone, gone, gone, gone gone_

_When you're dreamin' with a broken heart  
__The givin' up is the hardest part  
__She takes you in with her cryin' eyes  
__Then all at once you have to say goodbye  
__Wonderin' could you stay my love  
__Will you wake up by my side  
__No she can't  
__Cuz she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone_

_Now do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hands  
__Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hands  
__Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hands  
__Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my, roses in my hands  
__Would you get them if I did  
__No you won't  
__Cuz you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone_

_When you're dreamin' with a broken heart  
__The wakin' up is the hardest part_

When I finished the room was silent and I awkwardly stood there. I knew this would happen. "I know, I know. It was bad."

They all just gaped at me. "That was really good." Artie told me.

"Even I know that was good." Finn announced.

I could feel my face heating up as everyone praised my singing. I always felt like my voice wasn't really good.

"Why'd you pick that song?" Rachel asked. "I always sing best when I sing songs that mean something to me and you sang great so you must have some sort of connection to it."

Yeah, it's basically my life right now, losing a piece of myself with my parents. "Doesn't matter."

"Rachel," Uncle Will warned, knowing why I didn't want to say.

"Of course it does," Rachel said. "Just tell us."

"No!" I yelled frustrated.

She took a step back with a hurt expression on her face and everyone else stared at me, surprised at my outburst. "I don't want to talk about it, okay?" With that I left the auditorium.

"Jessie?" Uncle Will asked as he walked up behind me.

I sniffled and rubbed my eyes. "What?" I demanded, not in the mood to talk to him, or anyone.

"She didn't mean to upset you." He said softly as he sat down next to me. I close my eyes as I lean my head back and rest it on the locker behind me. I angrily rub at the tears streaming down my face, I don't want to cry anymore.

"I can't do this." I cry to Uncle Will as he wraps his arm around my shoulders. "I thought I could handle it, but everyone keeps asking me questions and it just reminds me of them. I can't." As I finish my voice breaks and I just lean into Uncle Will and cry.

"Shhhh." He murmurs against my hair. "We'll get through this, it'll be okay."

We sat there for a while in silence, until I slowly pulled myself up and Uncle Will followed. I told him I'd wait in the car as he headed back to the auditorium. I go the bathroom first, splashing water on my face and trying to hide the fact that I'd been crying. I gave up and left, eyes still red and puffy, slowly shuffling out to the car.

I sit there, happy to be alone. I lean my chair back and stare at the roof of the car. "I miss you guys. I wish you were here, I need you." I whisper which makes me start crying again, knowing they won't answer. I pull my phone out and plug in my earbuds. They have music notes in black, gold and silver painted on them. My dad got them for me on my birthday a few years ago and I never leave home without them.

I just hit shuffle and fall asleep as I let the music take me.

(A drop in the ocean: Ron Pope)

_A drop in the ocean  
__A change in the weather  
__I was praying that you and me might end up together  
__It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert  
__But I'm holding you closer than most  
__Cuz you are my heaven_

_I don't wanna waste the weekend  
__If you don't love me pretend  
__A few more hours, then it's time to go  
__And as my train rolls down the east coast  
__I wonder how you keep warm  
__It's too late to cry  
__Too broken to move on  
__And still I can't let you be  
__Most nights I hardly sleep  
__Don't take what you don't need from me_

_It's just a drop in the ocean  
__A change in the weather  
__I was praying that you and me might end up together  
__It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert  
__But I'm holding you closer than most  
__Cuz you are my heaven_

_Misplaced trust and old friends  
__Never counting regrets  
__By the grace of god I do not rest at all  
__In New England as the leaves change  
__The last excuse that I'll claim  
__I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl  
__And still I can't let you be  
__Most nights I hardly sleep  
__Don't take what you don't need from me_

_It's just a drop in the ocean  
__A change in the weather  
__I was praying that you and me might end up together  
__It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert  
__But I'm holding you closer than most  
__Cuz you are my_

_Heaven doesn't seem so far away anymore  
__No no heaven doesn't seem far away  
__Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore  
__No no heaven doesn't seem far away_

_A drop in the ocean  
__A change in the weather  
__I was praying that you and me might end up together  
__It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert  
__But I'm holding you closer than most  
__Cuz you are my heaven  
__You are my heaven_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I sigh, bracing myself as I walk into the lunchroom. There's no way the Glee kids will let me sit with them after my outburst last time. I just have to ruin everything, don't I? I stare at the floor as I walk past their table, so I'm completely surprised when someone taps me on the shoulder.

"Hey, we're s-sitting over h-here." Tina tells me as she leads me over to their table. I smile back at them as I sit down.

"I didn't think you'd let me sit here anymore." They just stare at me, confused. "Because I yelled at you guys at Glee."

They just laugh, "Pfft, so what? Besides, you were mostly yelling at Rachel." Mercedes says.

"Can I ask why what she said upset you?" Artie questioned hesitantly. "It's okay if you don't want to tell us."

"Um, there's a reason I moved up here with Uncle Will and the song reminded me of that reason. I really don't want to talk about it." I say before shoving a slice of pizza in my mouth. Can't talk if my mouth's full right? But my precaution is unnecessary as they all nod and then change the subject, complaining about some project one of the English teachers assigned. I smile gratefully and chime in every once and a while. The feeling of happiness overwhelms me as I realize they accept me even though I won't tell them everything about my past. It's nice.

Jess jess jess jess jess jess jess jess jess

I spent the day avoiding Rachel, which wouldn't have been hard if we didn't have lockers _right next to each other_. I must've looked like a robber or something, always checking to see if she found me. I know I have to talk to her eventually, but I just _don't want to_.

"Hey," I jumped, almost dropping all of my books when the cheery voice spoke.

"Oh, uh, hey." I replied, nervously brushing my hair behind my ear as I turned to face her.

"I wanted to talk about-"

"Listen," I interrupted, wanting to get my piece out before she could distract me. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, but you deserved it. I asked you to stop and you just ignored me. I had a reason, or I would've told you and you need to respect my privacy." I took a deep breath and waited for her to say something.

"I know, I'm sorry." _Wait, what?_ "Sometimes I can get a little pushy, besides if I am going to be a star I'm going to need to be used to a little yelling." She smiled at me and just like that it was done and in the past. "So, are we going to be competing for solos now? I wasn't kidding when I said you were good."

I quickly shook my head, "No, no I'm still not going to be a part of glee."

"Really? Why not?"

"I, uh, I'm a bit… unstable right now. I think I still need to get used to my new life here before I jump into clubs and stuff." Yeah, that sounds good. I sigh when she accepts my answer and starts talking about the song she's preparing for the next glee rehearsal. Now I just have to watch what I say in the future and I'll be fine.

Jessjessjessjessjessjessjessjessjessjessjessjess

The next few weeks fly by as I get used to my new routine. I basically ignored the email Lily sent me and she hasn't brought it up. I just… can't. Maybe someday I will, but for now it will sit gathering metaphorical dust in my inbox. Glee's doing really good, especially since Finn joined. Unfortunately, my Uncle's had to start monitoring detention after school to keep the glee club and it's wearing on him. Nobody in glee knows except for me. He doesn't want to make them to feel bad that he has to do it for them. Honestly, he thinks glee is worth it, so I just try to make things a little easier for him by organizing as much glee stuff as I can.

Sadly, there has been another effect from him constantly staying for detention. I either ride the bus or wait an extra hour just to go home. It's nice on days I have homework but if I don't have a lot or even any at all, it sucks. I've been staying away from the whole bus-riding experience, but I've finally decided to ride the bus today because I'm making a big deal out of nothing and told Uncle Will to make me go no matter what I said.

I slowly packed up my bag and walked to my Uncle's classroom to say bye before I went home. I was walking very slowly, it wouldn't be my fault if I just happened to miss the bus, when I saw Uncle Will rushing down the hall towards me. "Hey Jess, come on let's go, you're going to miss the bus." I had no time to protest before he was whisking me down the hall in the opposite direction towards the parking lot where buses picked everyone up.

I pouted as we stopped in front of the bus he had told me I'd be riding. _"_Yay! Just in time" I grumbled sarcastically as I stared at the bus.

Uncle Will chuckled and kissed me on the cheek. "It'll be fine, see you later." He ruffled my hair and turned, walking back to the school. I took a deep breath and stepped onto the bus. As I got on I stared down the bus aisles. The first few seats were completely taken and once I found a seat with only one person occupying it, the cheerleader took one look at me before putting her backpack on the empty spot. _Rude_, I thought as I shook my head and kept going. I was preparing myself for sitting on the floor or something when I saw someone familiar.

"Hey mohawk, can I sit here?" I teased and sighed in relief when he smiled at me and nodded.

"What's up?" He asked as I sat down next to him.

"My Uncle's been monitoring detention so he can't give me a ride home anymore. I won't be able to drive anytime soon, so, here I am. What are you doing here? You don't seem like the kind to ride the bus?"

"Well, I have a truck, but I want to save gas for when I clean pools so that I can actually make some kind of profit."

"That's cool." I said as we settled into a comfortable silence. I tried to keep myself from looking at him, he was a bit attractive. Okay, okay, a lot attractive. I was about to see if we had the same English teacher or something just so we could keep talking when he started a conversation.

"I don't usually ride the bus actually, because I have football practice, but it was cancelled today."

"Right, the tough jock."

He smirked and flexed his muscles, "Yup that's me." I laughed and he started laughing with me. "It usually works out because my girlfriend, Santana, is a cheerleader." My face immediately fell, though I tried to cover it up, of course he has a girlfriend. Why did I think I would have a chance? This is stupid, I told myself, I don't like him anyway.

Once I had finally gotten him off the topic of his 'hot girlfriend' we actually had a pretty good conversation. I was sad when I had to get off the bus. "Oh, hey." He grabbed me before I could leave. "If you just tell them you're friends with me, this bus knows this is _my seat_, so even when I'm not here you'll have somewhere to sit."

I smiled, "We're friends?" He just grinned. "Well, thanks. For the seat, I mean."

"Are you getting off or not!" The driver yelled from the front and I quickly said goodbye to Puck as I felt myself blushing and raced off the bus.

I grinned from ear to ear. He said we were friends. _He has a girlfriend_, I reminded myself. Whatever, doesn't matter, I can just be friends with him. It was so easy to talk to him, which had kind of surprised me at first. I was still beaming when I walked into the house.

Confusion took over my face when I saw a congratulations banner hanging across the room. Aunt Terri held some more decorations in her hands when she came in. "What are you doing here so early? Will didn't come with you did he?"

"No, I rode the bus. What are we celebrating?" I asked, still puzzled, as I set my backpack down in the corner of the room.

"Well, it's a surprise for Will, but I'm pregnant." She smiled genuinely at me for what must be the first time. Well, if she wanted to call a truce so could I.

"That's great, Aunt Terri, I'm happy for you guys." Wanting to keep the friendliness going, I offered to help her finish decorating and we finished just in time for Uncle Will to come in. I was prepared to sneak off to my room but Aunt Terri actually motioned for me to stay and after she told him we all hugged and for the first time I felt like we were a family. A little messed up, but family nonetheless.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**A/N Hey guys, hope you enjoy. We finally get into why this is rated T which is for swearing, though there won't be too much of it, just to make points and such. Thanks so much for the reviews and follows, it makes my day. I'm sorry it's been so long I'm still figuring out how exactly I want this story to go but I'll try not to leave it for this long again. I know this is short but I wanted to put something up.**

I look up from the homework I'm trying to finish to see Uncle Will enter the room. Everyone else stops talking to hear what lesson he has planned for today, but something's off. He doesn't smile and he looks so sad.

"What's wrong?" I ask, hoping I can help make him smile again.

"I have some bad news guys, I'm not going to be running Glee Club anymore."

_What? _"You're leaving us?" Artie asks as the rest of us stare waiting for his response.

"I've given my two weeks notice. I promise guys, I'll find you a new director." I just look at him trying to figure out why he's doing this as the rest ask him a bunch of questions. He didn't even talk to me about it.

"You guys are going to be okay, you're so amazing and I have loved being your teacher." With that he turned and slowly left the room, running his hand through his hair.

Immediately the group turns to me, "Why didn't you tell us?" they demand.

"He didn't say anything to me," I whisper, still puzzled. Glee was so important to him. They continued to try and figure out the mess that was now Glee Club as I slowly put my stuff away and went to find Uncle Will.

I wandered the halls before finding him sitting on the steps on the way out of school. "Why are you doing this?" I ask him as I lower myself onto the stairs next to him.

"You know why, I have to take care of my baby and I need to make more money so I can do that." He replied with an emotionless voice, almost as if the life had been sucked out of him.

"But you love being a teacher."

"You're just a kid Jessie, you don't understand." He snapped.

"Okay, maybe I don't. What about glee? You really think they'll be able to find someone who will pay for the club. Sure, the other teachers might like the idea of Glee but I doubt they would pay to keep it running and work as hard as you for it." I shot back, mad that he wasn't considering the consequences of his choice to find a better paying job.

"I'm sure Figgins can find someone."

"That's bullshit and you know it." I tell him. I just can't believe after all he's put into Glee Club and how he said it was his dream that he's just going to give up on it. Life's too short for us to let our dreams stay out of reach, we have to chase after them and never let go.

"How dare you speak to me like that." He says as he stands up, mad as well.

"You're not my father!" I yell, getting up as well, and just like that my anger dissipates. My hand covers my mouth as I realize what exactly I said. I frown as I try to figure out what to say next.

"You're right." He replies slowly, turning to me as he continues. "But you are family to me, Jessie."

"I know, that's not what I meant to say." I exclaim as I reach out and hug him tightly. "You mean the world to me, Uncle Will, I was just mad. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." He tells me when we finally let go. "You're probably right, but I don't know what else to do. If you haven't noticed, teaching doesn't really pay well."

"Yeah, I guess it's not as simple as I made it sound, but you shouldn't have to give up on what you want. I wish life was easier." I sigh as I sit back down on the stairs.

Uncle Will chuckles, "Don't we all." He sits beside me and I lean into his warmth. "I don't know what I'm going to do just yet, but I promise I will try to figure out a different way to do this." He kisses the top of my head and we just sit there for a bit, comforting each other as we hope that everything turns out okay.

* * *

I sigh as I walk into Ms. Pillbury's office for my 'guidance'. "What's up Jessie?" She asks as she turns all of her attention towards me.

"I know I come here to talk about my parents and how I'm dealing with it, but can I talk about something else today?" I ask, still worried about the situation with my uncle and glee.

"Of course, this is all for you. You can talk about whatever you want."

"I'm sure you've noticed something's off with my uncle, I mean you guys seem like pretty good friends. He talks about you a lot." I glance at her and see a slight blush tinge her cheeks as I continue, "Anyway, he and my aunt are going to have a baby and my aunt has somehow convinced him that he should get a better job to make more money. I just don't understand, my uncle loves teaching and it's his dream to run glee club. He's always told me to follow my dreams but now he's turning his back on his own. I want him to be happy and I don't think he will be if he does this."

"Honestly, I've been worried about him too, but you know teaching really doesn't pay well." She tells me.

"I know, I can understand his side too but..." I stop not knowing how to continue. I know why Uncle Will wants to do this but I also know he'd be miserable. I know part of this is my fault. If he didn't have to take care of me he wouldn't have to worry about having enough money to take care of his child as well.

"If you want I'll talk to him. I agree with you, I think he's just overwhelmed and needs a little push in the right direction." She says with a reassuring smile on her face.

"Thanks, I just want him to be happy. He needs some happiness after all that's happened lately."

* * *

I walk in to the auditorium not knowing what to expect. I hadn't been going to glee club since I thought they were waiting for their new director, if Uncle Will could even find one, but Rachel had found me at my locker and had told me that she'd been running it and that she wanted to stop by. I couldn't wait to see what my friends had been working on.

As I start to walk towards the doors I see Uncle Will heading in the same direction. "Hey," I call as I run up to him.

"You were right," He tells me and as I stand there shocked with a big smile on my face he laughs and holds the door open so we can walk in. The sound of everyone singing _Don't Stop Believing_ rings through the room. I look at surprise when I see the jazz band playing with them. I knew Artie had been talking about recruiting them but I didn't think so many would agree.

They stop and Uncle Will and I clap, they turn and finally realize that we were listening.

"You're back," Mercedes says as I climb onto the stage.

"Does this mean you're staying?" Finn asks

"It would kill me to see you win Nationals without me." Uncle Will tells them and we all cheer as I hug my friends.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**A/N: I don't know if anyone noticed, I had jess singing on the back porch one time but I forgot to explain. Will and Terri are living in a house not an apartment so they won't be looking for a house in my story. **

"Will, my sister and her family are coming over for lunch so we need to clean the place up." Aunt Terri yelled from upstairs as I was eating my pancakes for breakfast.

I groan, I had wanted to sit around and do nothing today and now I have to help clean the house?

Uncle Will walked in with his eyes wide, "You don't need to be anywhere today do you?" He asks and I shake my head no, a little confused. He sighs before explaining. "Her sister's kids are insane."

I laugh, "I'm sure they're not that bad."

"I'm telling you, they're terrible."

I grin as a thought comes to mind. "If I can get them to be good, you take me out to get ice cream."

"Done," He says. "But if I win you have to do the dishes."

"You're on," I tell him cockily, "Prepare to lose."

* * *

"Believe me now?" Uncle Will asks with a smirk. I hit his arm before getting up and trying to catch one of the ginger triplets.

I run around the room and they scream louder as they realize I'm chasing them. I manage to herd them outside into the yard where I corner one of the boys and grab him. "What's your name?" I ask as he tries to squirm out of my arms.

"Kyle, now let me go!" He yells.

"You want ice cream?" I ask and he immediately stills. "I'll take that as a yes, go get your brothers, quick before I change my mind." I release him and he runs after his brothers. It takes a while for him to get them to stop so he can explain but then they all come back to me.

"I have a deal for you guys, and if you do what I say you'll all get ice cream…"

* * *

All 4 adults stare, mouths agape in shock, as I lead all three inside in an orderly fashion.

"Okay," I tell the kids. "I'll count first. Ready? 1… 2… 3…" I start counting as they all hide. I told them we could still play games like hide-and-seek but that we had to be quiet or none of us would get ice cream.

"20! Ready or not, here I come!" I yell and I open my eyes. The adults are still silent just staring at me. I grin, their faces are priceless.

"How did you…" Aunt Terri's sister trails off as I laugh.

"Have you ever just played with them?" I question.

She snorts, "Of course not, you think I'd play with those hellions." I shake my head as I run off to find them all.

Once I had gotten them all to play with me and listen I had a pretty fun afternoon. They were all sweethearts when they were actually allowed to have fun and had someone to play with them. I pitied them having to deal with Aunt Kendra every day. She was even more annoying than Aunt Terri and I wouldn't be able to do it. Now that I understand why they were acting out when they came here, I think I'd be doing the same thing in their place.

"Uncle Will," I called in a singsong voice, "We're all ready to go get ice cream."

"What? That's not what I agreed to." He splutters.

"You would really deprive these sweet children delicious ice cream." As I say this the triplets proceed to pout and give him innocent smiles the way only a little kid can.

Uncle Will groans as he caves, "Fine, fine let's go." We all cheer and I high-five them as we all head to an ice cream shop. We leave Aunt Terri and her sister. Her sister's husband was going to join us but Kendra said he couldn't and he immediately sat down. She was scary when she wanted to be, and very bossy.

We all enjoyed ice cream and headed back to the house so Kendra's family could leave, but not before she begged me to babysit her kids. Apparently they had scared off all of their past babysitters. It was probably them trying to get their mom's attention. I readily agreed before hugging them all goodbye.

If only all of life could be as simple as today.

* * *

I smiled as I headed into school. I didn't have a lot of friends, but there's a reason the quote _Quality over quantity_ is famous. I've been here for a month and a half now and everyone in the glee club has grown closer. We still don't have any more people, the assembly glee club performed in last week was a hit but it wasn't enough to get anyone to join. At least that's what I thought.

Mercedes and I were debating on whether Beyoncé or Celine Dion was the better singer when we walked stopped in our tracks.

"What the hell are they doing here, Mr. Shue?" Mercedes asks as we look at the three cheerleaders sitting in our seats as if they already own our club.

"What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't support Finn," Quinn says with a smug look at Rachel.

"They tried out and they sang well, we accept everyone here Mercedes, remember that. This is Santana, Brittany and Quinn."

I smile and say hi but Quinn is too absorbed in Finn and the other 2 just look at me. "Um, no. Bye new girl." The dark-haired one says so I shrug and head over with Tina and Mercedes, they're better company anyway.

Glee club practice went on as usual, though the addition of the 3 cheerleaders caused some tension. Kurt was convinced that Santana was a secret agent or a spy or something for Coach Sue and Rachel kept glaring at Quinn the entire time. By the end of it, I was glad to be able to go home.

I was walking out to Uncle Will's car when I ran into a familiar face. "Hey Puck," I called. "What's up?"

"Nothing much, just working out for football." He flexed his muscles and I rolled my eyes at him, willing myself not to blush.

"I can see that. You were right, by the way, everyone on the bus avoids your seat like it's the plague."

He chuckled, "It's a natural talent."

"The freshman sitting next to me looked like he was scared for my life." We both laughed again. "I don't see why they think you're so scary though."

"You don't?" He gasped, but the grin on his face told me he was joking. "I'm hurt."

"Well, you are my knight in shining armor after all." I joked, before realizing how that might sound. _C'mon, I can do this_, I told myself before quickly saying, "Hey can I have your number? I mean we are friends and all." I add nervously.

He smirked, "Sure." He quickly put his number into my phone before saying bye and heading home.

I was grinning ear to ear when Uncle Will finally came out of the school with his stuff, "Someone's happy," he stated.

"Yeah, it's a nice day out." I told him, not in the mood to explain that I had gotten my friend Puck's number and _might_ have a crush on him even though he has a girlfriend. Ugh.

"Hey, your grandparents are coming over this weekend. They wanted to see you and I was going to tell them about the baby." He says as we walk to the car.

"That's great," I hadn't seen them since the funeral for my parents and I missed them.

* * *

"They're here," Uncle Will calls and I'm immediately on my feet and running towards the door. As soon as the door opens I tackle my grandpa and he laughs as he hugs me back.

"Hey kiddo," He says as my grandma walks up behind him.

"Where's my hug?" She complains jokingly and I laugh before hugging her too.

"I missed you guys." I tell them as we head into the living room so Aunt Terri and Uncle Will can greet them too.

"Mom, Dad, I'm glad you guys were able to come," Uncle Will says as he comes up to us. Aunt Terri stays over by the couch, smiling uneasily.

"C'mon Aunt Terri," I call as I run over and grab her arm, dragging her over to everyone. Living with her had forced us to attempt to get along and if she wants to be a true part of this family she has to get out of her comfort zone and actually interact with my grandparents.

She squeaks in protest before forcing a smile to her face as she ends up next to Uncle Will. He wraps an arm around her and I grin in success when she joins the conversation. We talk about random stuff like how I'm fitting in here and glee club until Uncle Will and Terri leave to set the table and bring out the food.

"So how are you doing?" My grandma asks as we sit together on the couch.

"I don't know, I miss them so much it hurts." I tell her.

"Me too darling, me too." She whispers and I hug her, eyes closed trying to fend off the tears.

"Dinner!" Terri calls from the kitchen. I wipe my eyes and help my grandma up and we walk in together. I end up sitting on one side between my grandparents and Uncle Will and Aunt Terri sit on the other side.

"I didn't know you started cooking Terri." My grandma said as she looked at the food on the table.

"Oh, it's just hamburger casserole." She replied. "Watch out for bones." I watched as Grandma looked down at her food.

I laughed quietly before whispering in her ear, "Don't worry, I helped her cook it. I made sure it's actually edible." When she looks at me, I wink and she chuckles.

"What's so funny," Uncle Will asks.

"Nothing son," My Grandma tells him with a grin on her face.

We kept eating dinner until Uncle Will just shook his head and looked up. "I'm sorry, I can't do it," A smile lit up his face, "We're having a baby boy," He announces. I smile, Aunt Terri had told us before they came that she didn't want to tell them yet and I thought it was kind of stupid because they're going to find out eventually but I agreed because it was what she wanted. Now that Uncle Will told them we don't have to keep it a secret anymore.

"Oh, that's wonderful, we're gonna have another grandbaby," My grandma cheers as she happily gets up and hugs her son.

"That's fantastic," my grandpa tells them as he embraces Terri.

We spend the rest of the evening catching up and talking about the baby, Aunt Terri didn't look very happy though and I couldn't figure out why. I would have to ask later.

Though I loved my family I was happy when the afternoon ended and I could be alone in my room. Talking for so long was exhausting. I lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling, as I think about what I had told my grandma earlier. I missed my parents so much, and it was always there. Sure, sometimes I could distract myself and I would be okay, but the ache is constant.

I go over to my wall and take off a picture of me and my parents. A tear slides down my cheek as I look at it. We were so happy, it wasn't fair that they had been taken. They should still be here with me.

(I'll see you again: Westlife)

Always  
You will be part of me  
And I will forever feel your strength  
When I need it most  
You're gone now  
Gone but not forgotten  
I can't say this to your face  
But I know you hear

I'll see you again  
You never really left  
I feel you walk beside me  
I know I'll see you again

When I'm lost  
And missing you like crazy  
I tell myself I'm so blessed  
To have had you in my life  
My life

I'll see you again  
You never really left  
I feel you walk beside me  
I know I'll see you again

When I had the time to tell you  
I never thought I'd live to see the day  
When those words I should've said would come to haunt me  
In my darkest hour I tell myself

I'll see you again  
I'll see you again  
You never really left  
I feel you walk beside me  
I know I'll see you again  
Someday I'll see you again  
I'll see you again  
You never really left  
I feel you walk beside me  
I know I'll see you again  
I will see you again  
I'll see you again  
I miss you like crazy  
You're gone but not forgotten  
I'll never forget you  
Someday I'll see you again  
I feel you walk beside me  
Never leave you  
Gone but not forgotten  
I feel you by my side  
No this is not goodbye  
No this is not goodbye  
No this is not goodbye  
No this is not goodbye

**A/N: Sorry if the beginning of this chapter was boring and there hasn't been a whole lot of glee club. When I write this I try to focus on Jessica and since she hasn't joined glee club yet there isn't a lot about it. Thanks for reading.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Edit: I was missing the first verse of My Own Worst Enemy, so I fixed that with a few little edits here and there. Next chapter should be up soon, thanks for reading.**

I sit taking notes as Uncle Will works with the Glee kids on some new dance steps. I would help him show them the steps, I mean I am supposed to be helping him run the club after all, but I suck at dancing. I would probably do more harm than good.

I look up when Rachel interrupts, she throws a worried glance towards Quinn and the other two cheerleaders before talking, "This choreography, it's all wrong. We can't compete against teams like Vocal Adrenaline with these steps. Sure, you're a great vocal coach but we need a professional choreographer. We need Dakota Stanley."

Uncle Will looks back at me and I raise my eyebrows at him. He shrugs before turning back to Rachel, "Just because he understudied doesn't mean he ever performed."

"Did you ever perform, Mr. Schuester? After high school, did you even try?" Quinn asks with a smug smirk playing on her lips.

I stand up, Santana and Quinn had been giving me crap all week, and I was sick of it. Now I had an excuse to wipe the grins off their faces. Now way they're going to insult my Uncle and get away with it. "As if you would know anything about real talent."

"I'm a cheerio, of course I do." Quinn retorts quickly.

"All that means is that you're a bitch, not that you have any skills whatsoever." I finish and she looks at me, mouth agape.

"That's enough," Uncle Will steps in before it can go any further. "Jessie, detention."

Wait, what? Seriously? He continues, "There will be no profanity in this room." I roll my eyes when Quinn gives me a triumphant smirk. I fight the urge to flip her off and sit back down. I stay silent for the rest of the practice.

When it's finally over Mercedes and Kurt come up to me. "Go girl, you told that twig-legged cheerleader what's what." Mercedes praises.

"I can't believe they're allowed to be in our club, they don't even care." I complain.

"I know, it's ridiculous" Kurt agrees.

I sigh as I remember that I have detention after school now. "Well, I guess I have to go to detention now. I'll see you tomorrow."

We say goodbye and I head over to the detention room with Uncle Will. "I can't believe you gave me detention." I mutter. "I was defending you."

"I know and I'm grateful, but the Glee club is barely standing and we can't risk parents keeping their kids from joining thinking that it's a bad environment." He explains and I groan, knowing he's right.

"Whatever, you're just lucky I have homework to do today."

JessJESSJESSJESSJESSJESSJESS

"Uncle Will!" I yell throughout the house. "There's three guys at the door asking for you!" I turn back to them, "Come on in." They walk in and I recognize one of them as the gym teacher at school. "So what are you guys doing here?"

"We're starting a band." One of them says, he has bandages wrapped around his hands.

"Well, more like a singing group," The gym coach adds.

"Hey guys," my Uncle announces.

They all walk into the living room, and the fact that there are snacks on the table makes sense now. "First we have to come up with a name, then I thought we could work on a few songs." My Uncle says.

I watch in amusement as they discuss before getting up when the doorbell rings. "Are you expecting someone else for this meeting?" I ask as I head to the door.

"Wait, no, don't answer it!" They shout but I'm already opening the door. A man stands there, though he recoils at the sight of me.

"Sorry Sandy, the bands too creepy with you in it." The rest of the guys call from the living room. Sandy quickly turns around and leaves, muttering something about not being allowed to be 50 feet near children. I frown as he walks away before I shrug and shut the door.

"Acafellas," Uncle Will announces happily. They must've been brainstorming while I answered the door.

They continue to practice but eventually they take a break, frustrated when they can't get one of the parts of their song right. "Hey," Uncle Will comes over to talk to me privately. "Do you wanna sing a song with me to help them see what I'm looking for? I don't know any other way to explain it to them."

"No, I really don't want to." I tell him.

"But you love to sing." He responds, confused.

"I just don't want to." I try to walk away but he stops me.

"No, tell me why." I just look at him. "Please?"

I sigh before slowly nodding my head. "I just, I don't know. It's probably stupid. I've only ever sung with you and my parents, plus that time when Mercedes and Kurt got me to sing in front of everyone else. It's one of the only things I have left that I did with mom and dad. It makes me feel close to them. I don't know if I want to share it. I guess that's why I didn't want to join Glee."

Uncle Will hugs me before replying. "Jessie, the important thing when you sing is how it can express what you feel and how it helps you connect with people. I know that Katie and your dad loved to hear you sing and they would want you to share it. Just because you sing to and with other people doesn't make the moments you shared with them any less special. Keep singing _for _them."

"Thanks," I whisper and he hugs me again before kissing the top of my head. I sigh and end up smiling, "Alright, let's go before I change my mind."

Uncle Will grins and runs off to gather up the rest of the guys. "What do you want now Will? I don't think this is going to work out." One of them says.

"And we're here to show you how it's done." I say as I walk up.

"Cocky much?" One of them teases. I smirk.

"Hit it,"

(My own worst enemy: Lit)

Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk  
I didn't mean to call you that  
I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me  
Please tell me

Please tell me why  
My car is in the front yard and I'm  
Sleeping with my clothes on  
Came in through the window last night  
And you're gone  
Gone

It's no surprise to me  
I am my own worst enemy  
Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me  
The smoke alarm is going off and there's a cigarette  
Still burning

Please tell me why  
My car is in the front yard  
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on  
Came in through the window last night  
And you're gone  
Gone

Please tell me why  
My car is in the front yard and I'm  
Sleeping with my clothes on  
Came in through the window last night  
It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy  
Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me  
Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk  
I didn't mean to call you that

Uncle Will and I stop together, breathless. I smile when I hear the cheers coming from our mini audience. I forgot how much I liked singing for people, of course when I'm not on a stage. Maybe my uncle was right.

Now that they were in good spirits the guys came together and worked on their moves when they could. I tried to help, though I was the example of what _not to do_ most of the time. I couldn't care less, I was laughing just as much as everyone else at my terrible dance skills.

Before long it was time for their first gig.

I walked in with Aunt Terri, but when I saw Ms. Pillsbury sitting in front of us I invited her to sit with us. Aunt Terri glared at me before shooing me away, so I joined Ms. Pillsbury instead. "Hey," I greeted as I sat down next to her.

"I'm not here to see Will, of course not. I'm here for my boyfriend Ken Tanaka." She rushed. I laughed and cut off her rambling.

"Ok, I believe you." I reassure her and she smiles nervously before looking back to the stage as Uncle Will and his group start to sing _Poison._ The crowd applauds when they finish, myself included. They head into the crowd to talk with their new fans. I go to the bathroom before coming out and heading back to where my grandparents had set up a little stand to sell CD's.

I walk up to see my grandpa standing at the stand alone. "Hey," I announce as I walk up to him.

He jumps, "Oh, I didn't see you there," He says nervously, glancing to the side. I follow his gaze and I see Uncle Will and Grandma speaking in hushed tones. "Wait," My grandpa pleads as I head towards the two. Something was going on and I was going to find out.

"-to tell her about the trial" My grandma says.

"She's already in a fragile state without having her parent's deaths dragged up again." Uncle Will hisses back.

"What?" I ask, confused, as I walk up.

They both stare at me in shock. "How long were you standing there?" Uncle Will asks.

"Long enough," I answer. "What's going on?"

My grandma gives him a look and then gives me a hug before walking over to join my grandpa. Her hug was meant to reassure me, but it does the opposite. She wouldn't need to comfort me unless there was something that would hurt me.

"You know the police caught the drunk driver who crashed into Katie and your dad." I nod, I hadn't read the article Lily had sent me but I still hadn't opened the e-mail. "Well, he's currently on trial, being charged with 2 counts of vehicular manslaughter."

I stiffen, not sure how I should feel. I stay silent and my Uncle fills the silence. "I'm going to drive down next week to testify, I wasn't going to make you come but your grandma didn't want to keep anything from you." I nod again, still numb. Then anger boils through me. Anger and hatred for the man who killed my parents, who ruined my life. I shut my eyes and clench my fists, breathing deeply and waiting until it passes, but it just fades and I can still feel it burning in the back of my mind.

I open my eyes and look back at Uncle Will, whose concern is conveyed plainly on his face. "I don't want to go to the trial, but I do want to go with you." I tell him, thinking of seeing Lily again. Trying not to think of the graves I would be visiting, standing boldly out of the ground proclaiming their deaths.

Will softly says ok and hugs me. When I finally let go he keeps him arm wrapped around me and leads me over to my grandparents. It's hard to feel happy about their show now, and I know my family feels the same. We quickly head home, eager to end the night, and I'm still thinking of what my uncle said. I open up my laptop and my mouse hovers over the e-mail Lily sent me. I finally force myself to click it, but before it can load entirely I close the window and shut my laptop.

I can't help feeling like a coward. They're just words and whether I read them or not they'll still be true. And yet I can't do it.

I sigh and think of what my Uncle had said earlier this week. That I should sing to remember my parents, and I feel the smallest bit hopeful, that somehow it'll be okay eventually. Someday I'll be able to open the e-mail. I can only wait and hope.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**A/N: Phew I'm finally back, sorry it's been so long guys. A virus found its way onto my computer and would crash it every time I opened the Internet, so that made things tough… Plus the fact that all of the stuff I write is saved on this computer. But I finally got it fixed! Thanks for your patience, you guys are awesome, hope you enjoy this chapter**

"So, why are we here again?" I ask as we get out of the cars and walk through the parking lot towards Vocal Adrenaline's auditorium.

"We have to hire Dakota Stanley to win," Quinn snaps from the side and I roll my eyes. It was just a question. I look around as we walk up, but my gaze returns to the front of the school when two girls run out. I look away and gag when one of them starts throwing up in the trashcan. Rachel rushes up, asking if Dakota Stanley was in the building with the glee club, not once phased by the fact that she's _vomiting._ "Don't hire him, he's a monster," the girl cries out before returning to the trashcan. Oh god, I can smell it from here.

"Well that didn't seem like a good sign." I tell Mercedes as we continue the trek towards the doors.

She just shrugs as we enter the building. We sit in the back of the auditorium and watch as they rehearse. I look on in amazement as they expertly dance around the stage. Kurt and I jump when the voice of who I can only assume is Dakota Stanley cuts through the auditorium like nails on a chalkboard. "You're all terrible, do it again!"

"Are you guys sure we want him to work with us? He doesn't seem like the kind of instructor we need," I whisper to the rest of our group. Some of them look like they're on the verge of agreeing before the cheerleaders comment.

"We want to win don't we? He can help us do that." Santana says and Rachel immediately nods her head.

I sigh as we get up to follow Dakota out the door as he leaves. I seem to be the only that sees the entire Vocal Adrenaline immediately collapse to the floor from exhaustion once Dakota's out of sight. This can't end well.

Jessjessjessjessjessjessjessjess

"How are w-we supposed t-t-to raise 8,000 dollars?" Tina asks once we are sitting back in the glee club practice room.

"Why don't we just grow a money tree?" Brittany asks and I start to laugh before I realize that she's serious. I shake my head and shrug before looking back at the rest of them.

"We barely have enough money to pay for the _glee club_ right now," I tell them, not mentioning the fact that Uncle Will has to pay out of his own pocket just so they can _have_ the glee club.

"Let's just forget about it, okay guys?" Finn tells them.

Quinn immediately steps in, "Look, Dakota Stanley's the best of the best. We _will_ find a way to hire him," she finished as she shared a glance with the other cheerleaders.

Ugh where is Uncle Will? I know he wants to work on the Acafellas but just because I agreed to help out doesn't mean that I'm going to run it all for him whenever he doesn't feel like it. "Look guys, how about we all brainstorm some ideas and come back to it next practice." I announce before they can continue to go around in circles. With that I grab my stuff and leave. I know Uncle Will said glee would be fun but right now it's not worth the drama.

Jessjessjessjessjessjessjessjess

The next day was nice and there wasn't any Glee practice to ruin my good mood. As I headed towards the bus to ride home I passed Uncle Will. "Hey," he called as he walked by. "Wanna help me work with the newest members of Acafellas?"

"Uh, sure." I reply as I switch directions and skip for a few steps to catch up to him. "Why are there new members?"

"Oh yeah, forgot you didn't know, Howard quit and Henri had a relapse with the cough syrup. Finn and one of the other guys on the football team agreed to fill their spots.

"Wait, you got another jock to join a singing group?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yeah, you'll see who in a minute."

I'm completely surprised when I walk in and see Puck sitting in one of the Glee chairs with Finn. "Puck? You joined my uncle's acapella group?" He turns away from Finn and sees me.

"Hey Jess, what are you doing here?"

"He's my uncle," I tell him again. "What are you doing here?"

"Well bands are great for picking up chicks, right?" He says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, good luck with that." I purposely don't mention Santana, as I don't know who broke up with who and I'd rather not open up that can of worms.

"Okay guys," My uncle interrupts. "Let's get started. We still have a gig coming up and if we want to keep this group going you need to know this routine back and forwards."

"No pressure guys," I add as I lightly smack my uncle. He smiles back at me.

"You'll do great either way. Let's get started."

I watch as my uncle runs them through the steps, though I can see Finn has been gifted with the same dance skills as me. I laugh as they start dancing again. Finn shoots me a goofy smile and Puck playfully glares at me, "Shut it," he growls. I just laugh harder.

"Oh yeah, let's see you do it." Puck challenges.

"Pffft, I'm worse than Finn," I tell him.

"Thanks, I think" Finn replies.

"C'mon Jess," my uncle goads and I give him a skeptical look.

"Why do you want me to show them how bad I am?" I ask. He just smiles at me and I shake my head at all of them. "You know what fine, but only if you two actually put some effort into learning these steps. I'd better be getting something out of it if I'm going to be embarrassing myself."

"Yeah yeah, you first," Puck tells me. I roll my eyes at him before getting up from my seat. I do some over-exaggerated stretches and Finn laughs, then I step up next to them.

"Okay, prepare to be amazed." I tell them before starting the routine. I sway back and forth, getting into the rhythm before stepping to the side and raising my foot like Uncle Will had done earlier, only I somehow manage to catch my shoe on the back of my other leg and start to trip over myself. I close my eyes as I bring up my arms, preparing for the collision with the floor.

I slowly open up one eye, then the other as I realize that something, or rather someone, had stopped me from falling. "You were right, that was _amazing_," Puck says sarcastically with a laugh as he pulls me back upright. I fight a blush as he holds me in his arms, he was so strong and it felt nice to be this close to him. _Stop it_, I tell myself. I can't get involved with anyone right now, just like I couldn't join glee club right now. My life was complete chaos without all the drama a boyfriend would bring, even if he was extremely hot… _Stop it_. He probably doesn't like me like that anyways.

"I'm gifted, now it's your turn," I tell him with a grin as I back away from him, hoping he hadn't noticed my few seconds of silence.

"Okay guys, look you have the steps down you just need to relax, and don't do what the lovely Jess just did," my Uncle tells them as he starts trying to help them figure out the moves again. I stick my tongue out at him and he returns the gesture before putting on a serious face and turning back to the boys. "Um, you guys play baseball right?" The guys nod so my Uncle continues, "What does your coach tell you when you're hitting?"

Puck immediately speaks up, "If you charge the pitcher, bring the bat." I can't contain my burst of laughter.

"What?" I manage through my giggles.

"Learned that the hard way," He says with a wink.

"Okay then," Uncle Will says, confusion written across his face. "Well, he probably, hopefully, also tells you to relax too, right? Hitting's all about the hips, you gotta loosen up. Just swing that bat." He tells them as he starts to sway from side to side and the boys copy him after I give them a pointed glare.

"There you go, hit some home runs guys. Now let's try it from the top." Will grabs his guitar and starts to play a tune and they work on the moves again, working on feeling the moves instead of just doing them. I beam when they get through the steps, staying in sync with each other the entire time.

"Yes! You did it!" I clap as they finish. Finn shoots me a big smile and Puck smirks, pleased with himself. "I knew you could do it, though it was obviously from my help."

"Of course it was, not from my teaching or anything," Uncle Will tells me as he pulls me into a hug.

"You guys are going to do great," I announce, making eye contact with Puck and Finn over my uncle's shoulder. "You'll do great." I say again, this time in my uncle's ear.

"Thanks," he whispers back as he releases me. "Now, let's run it again."

"Wait, what do you mean _again_?" Finn interjects and I laugh at the sad expression on his face as Uncle Will explains that they have to get it right more than once before practice could be over. Poor dude, I think as I join in again. If not to help than to at least make Finn feel better about having to do the routine over and over again. After all, that's what I'm here for.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Trigger Warning: thoughts of suicide**

_Sometimes life has to get worse before it can get better_

I watch the Glee Club meeting from my usual spot against the wall behind my Uncle, whom I was happy to see at a meeting for once. He's really going to have to work harder at actually running the Glee Club if he wants me to join.

"Okay guys, Sue and the Cheerios agreed to help us run a car wash to raise money to hire Montana-"

"Dakota," Rachel interrupts and Uncle Will turns to me and rolls his eyes before continuing.

"Yeah, him, so we'll have the car wash after school tomorrow. Let me know if you won't be able to make it."

"Please, it's n-n-not like w-we have lives." Tina muttered and a few of the others nodded, excluding the Cheerios of course.

My Uncle chuckled as if she had told a joke before dismissing us and wandering out, humming a song he had been working on for the Acafellas under his breath. I couldn't wait to see their show, the guys had really improved since they first started.

I walked across the room towards Kurt and Mercedes, sitting down on a chair beside them.

"I can't believe the Cheerios agreed to help us," Mercedes says to me as we watch Quinn prance across the room and kiss Finn. Oh right, keep forgetting they're a thing.

"Do you think we have to wear bikinis?" Mercedes asks. I just shrug, not caring. I would be going in a t-shirt and shorts whether they liked it or not. Though I didn't really want to go anyway. It's not like _I_ wanted to hire the dude. If only Lily was here so I could hang out with her instead. I know it's only been about a month and a half but it feels like we haven't seen each other in years.

"Forget the car wash, I have a paper due and I haven't even started yet," Kurt says, voice panicked, and I turn away and zone out as he and Mercedes start to rant about the amount of homework they both have.

My thoughts turn back to Lily and how much I miss her. I know I can always count on her to be there when I need her and I will do the same for her but it's so much harder to keep our friendship going when we can't just hang out whenever we feel like it. We used to have movie nights every weekend and my mom would join us. Dad would usually fall asleep on the couch, snoring through the entire film…

Anger and sadness suddenly washed through me and I wanted to scream. Kurt and Mercedes thought some stupid essay and what to wear to a car wash were such _major_ problems and they're complaining as if the world was ending and _how dare they!_ I lost my parents and had to leave my home and my best friend and they have the nerve to be worried about stuff like this?

I clench my fists at my sides as I slowly breathe in and out to keep myself from blurting out anything I don't want heard. I quickly grab my stuff, hissing a good-bye as I walk out. I know Puck told me not to cry at school and it's not like I want to but the tears are already starting so I rush as far away from the practice as I can before running into a bathroom.

Thankfully it's empty as I go into one of the stalls, locking the door behind me. I'm sobbing before I can do anything to try and calm down. I had been doing so well, wearing this fake armor and keeping myself from breaking down in public. Crying is for when I'm alone at home where no one can see.

But I can't do it anymore, they're in all of my memories. No matter what I do I can't stop thinking about them and _I don't want to stop_. "Why did you leave me!" I scream, not caring if anyone walking by hears me. I don't give a damn anymore. My parents are gone and they won't be coming back.

I don't know how long I spend crying on the floor in the girl's bathroom. Eventually my tears run dry and I stop sniffling. Grabbing the stall door, I pull myself up and walk over to the sinks, splashing water onto my face. As I check the mirror to make sure no trace of my breakdown is visible, I reassemble the armor around my heart. I force a smile onto my lips before going out to face the world.

* * *

"Are you okay? You've seemed a bit out of it since we got home." Uncle Will tells me as we eat dinner. I shrug as I play with my food.

"My stomach hurts," I reply. It's not entirely a lie, just not the reason I've been silent since we left school.

"Oh do you want some medicine?" He asks as he automatically assesses me.

I nod, milking it as much as I can, "Yeah, I don't know if I'll be able to go to school tomorrow." He nods sympathetically at my words and I almost feel bad for tricking him. He's so trusting he'll believe anything I say.

"You know what, I think I'm going to go to sleep early. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning," I announce as I head to the kitchen to wrap up my untouched meal and stick it in the fridge. I hug my uncle and then give my aunt a kind-of-arm-touching-awkward-hug before walking back to my room and lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I close my eyes even though I'm not tired, blindly hoping in the back of my mind that maybe this was all a dream. I was still at home, my parents had just said good night, Lily and I were going to go to the park in the morning. The illusion starts to fade and I close my eyes tighter, grasping as the thoughts slowly vanish, leaving me alone once more.

* * *

My uncle wakes me up but I tell him I still don't feel good so he grabs some medicine and puts it on my bedside table for me before heading out. Aunt Terri gets up 30 minutes later reminding me that she'll be home around 5:00 and that Will would be late due to the car wash. I can't find the energy to feel guilty about leaving the glee kids to wash cars on their own.

I stumble out of my room and towards the couch, skipping breakfast because I still don't feel like eating. I sink onto the couch almost mechanically and immediately shut my eyes. I'm just so _tired_. I sat like that for a while, letting time pass without me. Eventually my stomach growled and I glanced up at the clock, it was 4:00 in the afternoon. I silently stood up and walked to the fridge, figuring I had to eat eventually, but looking at the food just made my stomach hurt more.

_Maybe I could use that medicine after all,_ I thought as I headed to my room. I grabbed the bottle holding the medicine and opened it but nothing came out. I looked inside and found that it was empty. I trudged towards the bathroom to check the medicine cabinet. When I looked inside I found some stomach medicine, I turned to leave before stopping and looking at the other contents on the shelves. I reached up and slowly grabbed a thing of sleeping pills, looking at the directions and peering inside. It was full.

I took both bottles and headed back to the kitchen. I stared at the sleeping pills, not sure why I had grabbed them. Another pang went through my heart at the thought of my parents. Whenever I had been sick my dad would stay home with me. My eyes settled back on the pill bottle. It would be so easy, there were enough to take it and just be done.

It wouldn't hurt to remember anymore, I wouldn't feel like crying all the time, I could _be with them._ I poured the pills onto the counter and stared at them. They looked so little, so harmless. They could save me. **No**, something in the back of my mind protested. I remembered my mom's voice after she had read an article about a 15-year-old boy who had hung himself, telling me years ago that suicide was never an option, that there is always hope for the future. I started crying, she didn't know how hard it would be. She didn't know she would be leaving me alone. It's _too_ hard. It hurts _too_ much. She would understand. **Would she?** I shook my head and reached for the pills. **Lily.**

I stopped. She deserved a good-bye. I moved back to my room and grabbed my phone, dialing the number. As it rang I immediately regretted it. I was about to hang up when she answered.

"_Hey Jess"_

"I'm not strong enough" I whisper, immediately Lily's voice is cautious.

"_Of course you are, tell me what's going on?"_

I fell quiet, not sure why I had called her in the first place. I didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. **You need her, talk**, the voice in the back of my mind nudged and I obeyed. "It just hurts so much,"

"_I know Jessica, I know. It's okay to be in pain"_

"I don't want to hurt anymore,"

"_It'll fade eventually, just keep talking to me. Maybe it will help to get it all out"_

"No, you don't understand. I don't want it to hurt _now_"

"_Jess, please listen to me. You're so strong, don't give up, keep fighting."_

"There's a difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough," I whisper, listening to her faster breathing on the other end. Her voice was thick with tears as she replied.

"_I love you Jess. I'm here. Before you give up, think of the reason why you held on so long,"_

I thought about it but couldn't come up with an answer. "I don't know."

"_Keep thinking, please."_

"I guess… You and Uncle Will kept me going." I fell silent as I realized this to be true. It had hurt but they had always been there for me to lean on, even when Lily lived states away she had never ignored a call or text.

"_We're still here, we're always here for you. I love you, I wish I was there with you. Hey you know I'm crap at singing so I want you to look up a song called Keep Breathing by We The Kings. Listen to it and know it's from me."_

I nodded before remembering that she couldn't see it, "Okay, I'm going to hang up and find it on my phone." I told her.

"_Wait!"_ She said, panicked. _"Just, please,_ please_ promise me you'll call me back…"_

I started to cry and gave a small smile, knowing she was right. I couldn't give up. "I will, I promise."

Something in my voice reassured her and she exhaled in relief. _"I love you,"_ she repeated once more.

"I love you too." I said before hanging up and searching the song on YouTube and hitting play. I laid down on my bed and shut my eyes as the music started.

(Just Keep Breathing: We The Kings)

_When heaven seems so far away  
And dreams are just a memory  
Without the dark the light won't show  
Remember that you're not alone  
When you watch the world just turn away  
And break the promises it made  
When love is all too hard to hold  
Just take a breath and let it go_

_Whoa whoa whoa  
Just keep breathing, breathing, breathing  
Whoa whoa whoa  
Just keep breathing, breathing, breathing_

_2 AM too tired to sleep  
When what you want's not what you need  
And when these walls don't feel like home  
Remember that you're not alone  
The beginning's just another end  
It's not too late to start again  
When hope is all too hard to hold  
Just take a breath and let it go_

_Whoa whoa whoa  
Just keep breathing, breathing, breathing  
Whoa whoa whoa  
Just keep breathing, breathing, breathing  
__Ooooooh_

_When heaven seems so far away  
And dreams are just a memory  
When love is all too hard to hold  
Just take a breath and let it  
Go whoa whoa  
Just keep breathing, breathing, breathing  
Whoa whoa whoa  
Just keep breathing, breathing, breathing_

Tears slowly traveled down my face as I called Lily back. She picked up before the first ring could finish.

"_Thanks for calling me back"_

"No thank_ you_, for reminding me that I want to live." I started to cry harder and she soothed me over the phone. "I feel happy sometimes," I explained, "but then the guilt crushes me for being happy without them"

"_There's nothing wrong with feeling sad, just remember that it's okay for you to be happy. Your mom and dad loved you, they would want you to live your life to the fullest."_

As she said the words I remembered that they were true and wondered how I could ever have forgotten. They wouldn't want to take me down with them. I headed back out of my room and to the kitchen, finally hungry. Lily and I were still talking 20 minutes later when my Aunt walked in.

"Hi Jessica," she greeted as she walked through towards the kitchen. I quickly remembered that I had left the pills on the counter. "Hey Lily I'm going to go, my aunt's home. I'll call you tomorrow." After she said good-bye I hung up and nervously followed my aunt.

I found her staring at the pills on the counter. I lingered in the doorway and she saw my puffy eyes and pieced it together. She opened her mouth but shut it again, unsure what to do or say.

"I'm okay, I promise. I called my friend, she talked me through it." She pursed her lips and opened her mouth, about to say something before she changed her mind and strided across the room to me. She took me in her arms and hugged me. I stayed stiff for a few seconds, surprised, before hugging her back.

"It's okay, you're allowed to be feel like this. I know I would be hurt if I lost my sister," she told me in a gentle voice that I had never heard her use before. At least not towards me. "Just remember that everything is going to be alright. Maybe not today, but eventually. You just have to stick around to see it." I hugged her again and we went to sit on the couch together. I had always disliked her… but maybe I was wrong.

I was about to say something when the front door burst open and my Uncle rushed in. Aunt Terri stood up, "Will, what are you doing here? I thought you had to stay for the carwash."

"I left Emma and Sue in charge." He said as he walked over and hugged me. "Lily called, told me what was happening. I came as fast as possible."

I relaxed and rested my head on his shoulder after he sat down next to me on the couch. Aunt Terri sat down on the other side of me. "I'm okay now," I mumbled into his shirt.

"I don't want to lose you Jessie. You have all of us to talk to. Don't keep it all bottled up inside."

I nodded, realizing how serious this all was. "I'll have more meetings with Ms. Emma. I won't let it get this bad again. I promise."

"Okay baby girl, just remember we're always here. Look, I know you said you wanted to come to the trial this weekend. It's okay if you can't handle it. You can stay here, Terri will look after you." I looked up at him as I thought about it. Did I really want to deal with all the old memories that visiting home would dredge up? I turned and saw Aunt Terri looking at me. She gave me a smile and put her hand on my shoulder.

"It's up to you," She said gently.

"I want to go," I told him, thinking about Lily and the people that kept me going. I would go and I would move forward. I have to be able to remember them in happiness, not just in sadness. Maybe this will be a first step towards it. I closed my eyes as I laid my head back down on Uncle Will's shoulder.

Will POV

Will looked at Terri who smiled at him and got up, giving him a kiss before leaving them alone. His eyes rested on Jessie once more. She was so strong, just like her mom. She had always been the stronger one growing up. Katie had protected him, made sure he was okay. It was his turn to be strong, to take care of her daughter since she couldn't anymore. He started humming softly.

(Chorus of Safe and Sound: Taylor Swift ft. The Civil Wars)

_Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright no one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound_

His voice faded and he stopped singing as it was clear that his niece was asleep, snoring quietly on his shoulder. He had never imagined that it was this bad for her. He should've been more attentive. As he looked down at the sleeping figure he vowed to make sure she would get through this. They would make it together. He smiled gently down at her, her face looked so much younger when she was asleep. That innocent little girl he had played with years ago was still in there. All he could do was hope that she wasn't completely broken, that she would be able to put herself back together.

**A/N: I understand it was a long wait but this was really hard to write. I've never been through anything like this myself and I wanted to get it right because it's such a serious issue. Just remember, you're never alone.**

**It might be a while until the next chapter, Jess is heading home for the trial and while she won't be there for the trial physically I need to figure out how a real trial like this would work so I can portray it in the story.**


End file.
